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*****Brian’s POV******

Leighanne wasn’t going to forgive me that easy, I knew that. But I don’t what Kevin told her because I least she didn’t leave like her intentions were. Instead she told me get my feelings straighten out, “Choose,” I remember clearly her telling me as we waited patiently in the hospital. See it turns out that my son’s fever was more than just a common flu symptom. I was just glad she had allowed me to be there, even if Baylee still did not allow me to be near him. It killed me to see him smile with his uncles except for me. Even with the fever he smiled for them all, yet with me he grew quiet.

By then Kevin had already called me and well what can I say I had gotten he lecture of my life. I came clean with and told him everything but to him all of that was bull. “You can’t just let stuff like this get to you…if you love her fight for her.” His words kept going through my head as I watched how tender and caring Leighanne was with our son. She truly was the woman for me, I was determined to do just that fight for her and my son.

Now Leighanne stayed because one she told me she cared for the fellas and knew how this whole mess would affect them. Two because she had come to her senses or more like Kevin had gotten to her and she knew that Baylee was mine too. I needed to be there for him at this moment, he was going through so many tests to find what was causing him to feel like he was. But I felt that there was more to her decision she still loved me, just like I did. She was giving me a chance to win her back, I could see in her eyes as she stared at me from where she sat close to our son’s bed in the hospital.

Sleepless nights in the hospital and a small hope that maybe Leighanne would forgive me. I was restless and most of all I was worried that my son was going to be taken away from us so soon. I prayed like crazy that week and to be honest I felt relieved like now god knew I was sorry. He also had forgiven me or at least that’s how I felt. It wasn’t till a few days later when I suggested the doctors to do a certain test to Baylee’s heart and finally we had a diagnosis. Kawasaki disease… the good we had it discovered in time and he would be ok with the proper treatment.

I remember clearly that morning when the doctor walked into Baylee’s room with the diagnosis. I saw Leighanne begin to cry as they explained to us what Kawasaki disease was and then I saw her smile as the doctor told us he was going to be ok. For the first time since our dilemma she hugged me. A hug that I can’t explain but it told me she still cared for me. I held on to her as well realizing just how comforting her hugs were, how much I missed them. I missed everything even the simplest tap on my nose with her finger. Her head on my shoulder in the mornings, her intense stare when she wanted to make love. Shivers ran down me as I felt her in my arms, I really did love this woman.

The doctor told us to keep Baylee one more night in the hospital and then we could go back and join the guys on tour. That night I witnessed Leighanne tell Baylee that I loved him as much as she did and that I deserved his affection as much as she. I cried as I saw Baylee look at me for the first time since he’d seen Josie and I together. It was his little laughing stare and he said it “I love you daddy.” It felt like music to my ears and for the first time I walked up to him and kissed his forehead like I had always done. I don’t remember how many times I apologized to him. I had my son back at least in someway; I just needed my wife back. That night as I gave my sleeping son another kiss Leighanne spoke to me.

In a nut shell she was going to pretend everything between was good and when the press confronted us she did just that. I felt even worse because I knew every smile was killing her. But she did as promised and to the eyes of the world we were this happy couple, to the world I was still “Saint Brian” like AJ had called me. It only made me feel worse; soon we were back on tour.

To no avail though Leighanne finally had enough of pretending and she left back home. But not before making it clear that her plans were to get a divorce… I got on my knees and cried like never before. I told her I loved her and wanted to make it up to her. That only made her cry, she broke down in tears and with pain in her voice she told me she just couldn’t forgive me on this. I think in that instant I lost my will to continue to live and I just kept blaming myself for it. Then I remembered Kevin’s words…and without warning her I took her face in my hands leaned in and kissed. I kissed her passionately and lovingly I had to smile inside me when she didn’t pull back. She loved me she did and somehow inside I knew I had a chance. I just had to find a way back to her heart…What we had was not over!