Reviewer: emily_michele Signed
Date: 07/13/13
Title: Chapter 1: Unsuspecting Sunday
Well, okay. I "enjoyed" it. I even enjoyed it. I'm not gonna lie to you-- I have to say that during some of the more graphic parts (though good job with making it not overly graphic, yet still descriptive), I might have pretended the narrator was a female. Still, the story overall was very believable, which really surprised me. You're right-- I think it had to be Nick and Howie here. Really insightful. Again, really believable. And I'm totally a Howie girl, actually. Well, it goes Kevin, Howie, Nick, and they alternate depending on what kind of mood I'm in or what they've done recently that it the cutest...lol. You really have a way with words and a knack for description that not many writers have. Example: " so I went over to him and ducked under his arm, draping it around my shoulders for support. It hung there like a large snake, limp and heavy, weighing me down." I could actually see and feel that in my mind. That's just one example. There are many. I'm not sure I'm on the bandwagon with making this the beginning of a novel, but honestly, I might read it, too, if that ever happened.
Author's Response: Thanks, Emily! LOL It's okay, I totally put myself in Howie's shoes and pretended he was a girl too to get through the "sex scene" (which, thankfully, I found a way to cut off before it actually turned into one because I didn't really want to write that... LOL). I had originally started writing it in third person point of view, and it got really awkward right about then, so I went back and rewrote it in first, and that turned out a lot better. I just giggled too much seeing Howie's name attached to Nick's in some of those descriptions... "I" was much better. Also, it got to be confusing with all the male pronouns - he/him/his. I had to use their names a lot more than I normally would when it was in third person just to make it clear what was happening, but that also made it more awkward. I honestly don't know how slash writers do it! I've never written a Howie story before (or a slash), so I'm glad it was believable, and thanks so much for your compliment about my descriptions! I'm not so sure about turning it into a novel either; the idea I have for it just kind of makes me shake my head, but... it has been in my head for the last week or so, so I thought I'd throw it out there and see. Thanks for going outside your comfort zone to read this, and thanks for the review! :)