Reviewer: emily_michele Signed
Date: 11/27/13
Title: Chapter 23: Chapter Twenty-Three / 2013
To comment a little on the writing itself, I love your use of metaphors, and the ones in this chapter are perfect examples. "...like a disturbed hive of bees, stinging my senses and making my hands sweat and shake as I stared at him laying there in bed" and "I felt like a gutted fish, like Lauren had reached down my throat and pulled out all my insides and thrown them away and now I was just all hollow and smelly in there" Even though they may on the surface seem a little absurd (and humorous!), they don't seem forced, and describe the situations perfectly.
Author's Response: Thank you for the comment! I tend to use a lot of crazy metaphors when I talk in everyday language and I think that's why I weave them throughout stories the way I do. Sometimes it's just not enough to say things like "I feel sad" or whatever - sometimes, you gotta whip out the gutted fish and really paint a word picture of the feeling. I try to make Nick the one most likely to do this in my stories, and that's mainly because of the way I write him, I try to give him this really goofy, kinda forgetful "blonde" type personality -- and I guess he's closest to how I really am in real life when I write these stories, to be honest -- and the metaphors just fall out of his personality type the easiest. I'm glad that you enjoy them. :)