I agree that I would like to see more tappage into the Boys' emotions, but you're gettin' there, so don't worry too much about it. A quick transition may actually do more harm to the story then good. A slow smooth transition should do it justice. Don't rush it.
I gotta say that I absolutely enjoy your vivid creative imagination when it comes to the premise of this whole story, especially the recent chapter when Brian entered the chapel. I know I said it in the review, but the way you described it really allowed me the chance to visualize to the point where I felt like I was walking into that chapel right along with Brian. What I want to know is did you have any inspiration for how you described the detail of the chapel? Or was it purely something you pulled out of your imagination? Because dude, you know me...if it was real, I would so go there. Yes, I am kinda psychotic like that...
Yah, for some reason I was having THEE hardest time trying to do a smooth transition, but it's slowly coming along pretty well... I think, lol. It'll only be a matter of time before I tap into their emotions... those bizzles keep running away from me, lol. As for the vivid creativeness, I'm trying and I'm actually shocked and happy that a lot of people are picking up on that, lol. Of course, I can never be satisfied with anything I do for some reason, but when I have intentions to convey something or to have readers perceive something a certain way and it actually gets through to the reader that way and they give me positive feedback on how they received it, that really makes me happy. Whenever I detail scenes and whatnot, I always see it visually play out in my head, where everything is at and what it looks like, etc. As for the whole chapel scene, that was something that I pulled straight from my imagination, lol. I mean, I think my mind was trying to visualize your typical rundown chapel, the only difference was the satanic star painted on the floor and George crucified on the cross, lol. To tell you the truth, I actually had NO intentions of Brian stumbling across George's corpse nailed to the cross and the star, I didn't intend for the "ritual site" to be in that chapel, but as I was writing that story, those thoughts kinda popped into my head and I thought, "Well, this direction would work really well for the story" and I just ran with that. Originally, I wanted this to be the point where Brian broke down emotionally and just started bawling at what he experienced, but then I thought against it, I didn't even want Brian to shed a tear, lol. I just wanted him to be completely numb, his body and mind in total shock because this dare is only day three, we have four days to work with so... I gotta think of a reason why the guys' are still staying there, participating in this stupid thing and try to figure out who will convince Brian and how they'll convince him. Gosh, I've got a lot of thinking to do, lol.
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Topic: Featured Story of the Month for October: Satan's Playground by rebellious_one (Read 14703 times)