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[carterkid]

The story is great Kristal my only minor nitpicky that I noticed is the characters can get confusing,Like when AJ/Howie fight about the fish.

[RokofAges75]

I'm reading "My Answer is You" by Rachel (colorguard_div a).  I've read the first six chapters so far.  It's a Brian story, so I'm enjoying that.

There are a lot of things about it that make me think of old-school fanfics, the kind of stories I loved to read back in the day when I first got addicted to fanfic - the fact that it's set in Kentucky, at Brian's parents' house; Brian and Nick being close friends who play basketball together; the lack of real life wives/girlfriends.  It's the kind of story that could have been written at any time and could take place in any time; there aren't those details that limit it to a certain era.

I kind of like that instead of being a story about two people falling in love, it's a story about two people who were in love, but had a falling out.  Because it takes place after the fact, there is a lot of back story that comes into play, and I like how it's revealed slowly... it's frustrating to me at times, because I want to know the whole story, but it also has me asking a lot of questions and wanting to read on to find out the answers.

From a writing standpoint, the story is well-written and easy to read because it uses a lot of dialogue and short, simple sentences.  It's clear and descriptive enough without being overly wordy, and the clipped sentences add to the feeling of tension that has dominated the chapters I've read so far.

The only thing that I find gets in the way of the flow of the story for me as I'm reading is the point of view.  I wish it was either solely first person, meaning Josie is the narrator, and the reader only has insight to her thoughts and things she would know, or all in third person, so that both Josie's and Brian's thoughts can be revealed, but neither one of them is telling the story.  I just find it distracting that Josie's telling the story, and then all of a sudden there's a paragraph or a scene showing Brian's or his parents' thoughts, when Josie couldn't know what's really on their minds.  That's just me, though; Jodi Picoult does that in her books, too, and it bugs me just as much, even though I like her writing otherwise.

I've been leaving reaction reviews at the end of every chapter, so I'll read and review a few more chapters tomorrow and be back with more of my overall thoughts.

[FrickingKaos]

Okay so I just read chapters 6 to 11 and have finished reading Games. I loved the overall storyline and concept was very interesting... however I found myself feeling lost by lack of background information and that more description could have added more to the story. I have left feedback on every chapter but to me the ending came a bit quickly and I found myself unsatisfied. I did enjoy reading it a lot!

[colorguard_diva]

Julie,

Thanks for the good words about the story and the feedback.

I get what you are saying about the point of view in the story. I know that is an issue for me in a few of my stories. I think it's because I want people to get both Josie and Brian's perspective on the situation.

I picked Kentucky as the setting because I wanted Josie and Brian to be "home". Kentucky is their place. The friendship started in there and I wanted to begin their new life there.

I can't wait to hear what else you have to say.

[colorguard_diva]

I'm really loving this challenge. I think it is great to get constructive criticism about your story and writing. It's great to see what someone truly thinks about it, because a lot of times we don't really get those in reviews.

Julie pointed out something in my story that she wasn't fond of (point of view) and it made realize that yeah, it's something I want to work on for a future story. Having her point it out got me thinking. Sometimes we get into ruts with our writing and do the same thing over and over. We want to change it. but we don't because when we start a new story we just write. Now I want to make a bigger effort to write in first person for a whole story or third person. So, I'm excited that Julie helped me to remember that I want to write in a different point of view, so that all my stories aren' t the same.

I also like that I get to explain the why's of my writing. I am big into finding out why. I love to learn how movies were made, why a song was written. I need that personal connection.  I get to do that and I love it. It helps me to understand myself as a writer.



Smiles for all of you   

[mare]

Wow, i'm going to have to get that final survey together faster than I thought I would. For those of you done already, feel free to read the other stories that were on your lists. I agree  with you Rachel, I think it's so refreshing to get people's opinions on things especially from someone you know wouldn't have read it otherwise. So many times, we tend to have the same regular reviewers and they tend to not read into as much as someone who maybe is reading your work for the very first time.

I love this challenge. I think we need to make it an annual event!

[RokofAges75]

Julie,

Thanks for the good words about the story and the feedback.

I get what you are saying about the point of view in the story. I know that is an issue for me in a few of my stories. I think it's because I want people to get both Josie and Brian's perspective on the situation.

I picked Kentucky as the setting because I wanted Josie and Brian to be "home". Kentucky is their place. The friendship started in there and I wanted to begin their new life there.

I can't wait to hear what else you have to say.

No problem!

With the point of view, I've had the same dilemma.  Usually I write in third person, which makes it possible to show both characters' perspectives, just without them narrating the story.  With Curtain Call, I really wanted to tell it in first person, but also show both sides of the story, so I alternate between the two main characters' points of view each chapter.  That's not usually my favorite way of doing it, but I think it works for that story, and it's always fun to try something new.

That makes sense why you chose Kentucky for the setting.  I like it; it takes me back to the good old days.

[FrickingKaos]

I just feel like reading everything on the list lol I am always looking for something to read!

[RokofAges75]

I'm really loving this challenge. I think it is great to get constructive criticism about your story and writing. It's great to see what someone truly thinks about it, because a lot of times we don't really get those in reviews.

Julie pointed out something in my story that she wasn't fond of (point of view) and it made realize that yeah, it's something I want to work on for a future story. Having her point it out got me thinking. Sometimes we get into ruts with our writing and do the same thing over and over. We want to change it. but we don't because when we start a new story we just write. Now I want to make a bigger effort to write in first person for a whole story or third person. So, I'm excited that Julie helped me to remember that I want to write in a different point of view, so that all my stories aren' t the same.

I also like that I get to explain the why's of my writing. I am big into finding out why. I love to learn how movies were made, why a song was written. I need that personal connection.  I get to do that and I love it. It helps me to understand myself as a writer.

Smiles for all of you  

I agree with all of this.  I welcome the constructive criticism, knowing it's coming from someone who probably wouldn't have read my story to begin with, but is giving it a chance.  Since mine is a collaboration that's still in-progress, it might help us find ways to make the story appeal to a wider audience, hearing what people like and don't like about it.  And we can all learn things to take with us and use in future stories, too.

It's fun to have an excuse to talk about your story without looking like an ass who's obsessed with her own story and boring everyone around her by talking about it.  It's nice to see the back-and-forth conversations going on between readers and writers.

And like Mare said, it's great to get feedback from people who maybe haven't read any of your stuff and also to read something by an author whose work you've never read before.  Even if everyone doesn't end up loving what they read, it's great that so many people took up the challenge to try something different.

[Rose]

I'm reading 00Carter and I decided to respond to each chapter with a story review, but to give my analysis on each episode arc here. So I just finished the first three chapters "Carter... Nick Carter."

So far this arc was basically an introduction to the characters and the agency as a whole. In it we have Nick creating a ridiculous mission for himself to solve. We later learn that is out of boredom as he's been suspended from any real missions for some reason that has not yet been explained.

I thought the character introductions were done well as Nick went around and interrogated each one I felt like I was able to remember who was who and what their role in the agency is. Sometimes when you have stories with 10+ characters it can get confusing, but so far I am good. I also feel like I have a good sense of Nick's character throughout his actions in these past few chapters. So far he strikes me as the kind of agent who may not be the most skillful, but somehow always comes out on top somehow, although I'm sure a lot of the times it is by accident.

As far as any real Con Crit goes the only minor nitpicky thing that I noticed was a continuity error between Chapters 2 and 3 about what Nick was wearing. In Chapter 2 when he is in the elevator with Diamond you mention he is wearing a tie, but in Chapter 3 he is wearing a "snug black shirt and casual jean attire." Not a huge deal I know but for some reason I notice those minor details.

I am intrigued to keep reading and find out about Nick's next mission as well as how his last one went wrong.

I love seeing your thoughts on this! Especially since like Julie said, in the first episode, there were 11 of us writing it lol. That's not easy at all. So it's impressive it flows. And thanks for catching that continuity flaw! I'm in shock Julie missed it LOL.  (kidding... )

This episode like you said, was just a way to really introduce the characters and get the setup of the agency out of the way. So that it wouldn't be hard to keep up with all the characters.

I love this challenge cause it brings in new perspectives.

[mare]

I posted the final survey in the second post on the first page! Those of you that are done with your stories should fill it out and post it in here!

[Rose]

I'm so far off lol.

[mare]

Some are already done lol I think it really depends on how long your story is.

[Rose]

Yeah...Casual is long lol. This'll take me some time. But it's okay cause 00Carter is pretty damn wordy too LOL.

[cabybakes]

Yeah...Casual is long lol. This'll take me some time. But it's okay cause 00Carter is pretty damn wordy too LOL.

Sorry!  )