This popped in my head and I thought it'd be a funny topic LOL.
1.) If your name is Howie Dorough, change your name immediately! Because you're expendable, and that means you'll die. Or be trapped in a bathroom for the rest of your life. In fact...just run. Run as far as you can.
2.) Date Nick Carter - if you're a fictional girlfriend, chances are you'll survive. Why? Because Nick is important.
3.) Change your name to Nick Carter. Nick doesn't die (normally, in the case of some authors, you might not want to do this, as it'll guarantee your death).
4.) Never go camping. Camping usually means you'll end up kidnapped or killed.
5.) Tour busses are dangerous. Flying from city to city is expensive, but you might be safer!
6.) Never go near the wilderness. It never ends well. NEVER!
7.) If you leave the group (*eyes Kevin*) well, you're doomed.
Feel free to add LOL.