well I've got someone editing it for me right now, and my brother in law is a technical writer by trade, so he s going to like "edit", edit for me. But I would love anything you have where you could point out inconsistencie s, holes in the plot, useless or cringe worthy dialog. Parts where the story drags as a whole. Parts where you would have liked to see more. Anything that seems too convenient anything that seems out of character to any of them... things like that. In fact, maybe I'll move this post to the feedback thread. not that anyone ever responds to that... but you never know. I really would love someone to give me real honest feedback. Sarah seems to be the only one around here that does that for me. And a lot of times she says stuff that I've been wondering about myself and when she brings it up it lest me know that Im not just being overly critical...