Absolute Chaos Discussion Boards

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Spammers will be banned. Repeat spammers will be fed to angry penguins.

Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions  (Read 18670 times)

LuckyMe

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 30

Okay, please let me know your honest opinions about this

It takes place during highschool


INTRO

Every coin has two sides…

So does he…

Nick Carter…

Cameron Smith…

Nick's the star of the show…

Cameron’s a repressed memory…

What happens when the person he once was fights for control?

The voices become stronger. The voices take over.

New influence?

New look?

New life…

Who do you turn to when you’re battling…yourself?
« Last Edit: February 19, 2009, 12:08:42 PM by LuckyMe »
Logged

nicksgal

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 10984
  • Fool, said my Muse, look in thy heart and write
    • Could You Do Me Right?
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2009, 05:58:34 PM »

I found it amusing that the doctor would make a joke about spelling. lol

I bet you could get more feedback if you posted it on the AC archiving site: Absolute Chaos
Logged
~*Dee*~

People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.

From "And Now, Deep Thoughts" by Jack Handey

RokofAges75

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 18651
    • Dreamer's Sanctuary
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2009, 06:05:08 PM »

It's an interesting start!  I'm guessing this is an AU, since Nick is a teenager who plays basketball?  That and the whole Nick/Cameron thing confused me a little.  I hope you put in some more explanation later.  The schizophrenia diagnosis is interesting, though; you don't see that in too many fanfics, especially not done well.

One thing you'll want to watch is your tenses; the story tends to jump between past and present tense, which interrupts the flow of your writing.

But you have a good start, so I agree with Dee - do some editing and, when you're ready, post it on the main site, absolutechaos. net.  No one reads more than snippets of stories on the actual forum.
Logged
~Julie

"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling

mare

  • Banner hater
  • Queen of Fanfiction
  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *****
  • Posts: 23833
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2009, 06:13:52 PM »

It's an interesting idea to make him schizophrenic. How much research did you do on the topic? I'd love links because i'm thinking of maybe trying out a story using mental health issues and i'd love to get some links besides the ones I already have.

Great start! Can't wait to see what else you come up with!
Logged
Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it. ~ John Green

LuckyMe

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 30
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2009, 06:24:08 PM »

It's an interesting start!  I'm guessing this is an AU, since Nick is a teenager who plays basketball?  That and the whole Nick/Cameron thing confused me a little.  I hope you put in some more explanation later.  The schizophrenia diagnosis is interesting, though; you don't see that in too many fanfics, especially not done well.

One thing you'll want to watch is your tenses; the story tends to jump between past and present tense, which interrupts the flow of your writing.

But you have a good start, so I agree with Dee - do some editing and, when you're ready, post it on the main site, absolutechaos. net.  No one reads more than snippets of stories on the actual forum.

I don't really know what an AU is?... Sorry, I'm not too familiar with the whole categorising thing!!

My plan is to make it with flashbacks, so you also get the whole story behind... And how Cameron came into it!!

Thanks though... I will try and work on the tenses, once I get into writing I barely even notices it
« Last Edit: February 16, 2009, 06:31:37 PM by LuckyMe »
Logged

LuckyMe

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 30
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2009, 06:27:07 PM »

It's an interesting idea to make him schizophrenic. How much research did you do on the topic? I'd love links because i'm thinking of maybe trying out a story using mental health issues and i'd love to get some links besides the ones I already have.

Great start! Can't wait to see what else you come up with!

Hey... I did a lot of research, took forever! But I like to get the facts straight before I start anything... I will send you the links tomorrow!

And thank you... I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this.
Logged

RokofAges75

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 18651
    • Dreamer's Sanctuary
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2009, 06:30:10 PM »

AU = Alternate Universe, which, in Bsb fics, is where you take the Backstreet Boys and make them something other than "The Backstreet Boys."  So, in your story, Nick is apparantly a 17-year-old basketball player instead of a 29-year-old popstar, Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys.  So it sounds like your story is an AU.

Oh okay, that sounds good.  And yeah, it's easy to get so into the writing that you don't catch things like that.  It always helps me to come back to my writing the next day to read it again, rather than try to proofread right after I'm done writing; it makes it more fresh, and I can look at it more objectively.  Reading out loud helps too - you can usually hear if something doesn't sound quite right when you read it out loud and really listen to yourself.
Logged
~Julie

"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling

LuckyMe

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 30
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2009, 06:36:07 PM »

AU = Alternate Universe, which, in Bsb fics, is where you take the Backstreet Boys and make them something other than "The Backstreet Boys."  So, in your story, Nick is apparantly a 17-year-old basketball player instead of a 29-year-old popstar, Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys.  So it sounds like your story is an AU.

Oh okay, that sounds good.  And yeah, it's easy to get so into the writing that you don't catch things like that.  It always helps me to come back to my writing the next day to read it again, rather than try to proofread right after I'm done writing; it makes it more fresh, and I can look at it more objectively.  Reading out loud helps too - you can usually hear if something doesn't sound quite right when you read it out loud and really listen to yourself.

Oh okay... Now I feel clever lol!! Then I guess it's an AU
Is AU a bad thing? Is it one of those things people don't wanna read about?

I just thought that the whole 'true to reality popstar' thing has already been done... I don't find it that original anymore.

Yeah, that's a good idea... I think maybe I need to slow down a bit, and get it right before posting anything.

Thanks for your help! I like getting contructive criticism like this, it really helps.
Logged

mare

  • Banner hater
  • Queen of Fanfiction
  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *****
  • Posts: 23833
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2009, 06:42:24 PM »

See? You were writing in a harder genre and you didn't even know it. lol

I personally think it's always a good idea to sit on a chapter for a little while before you post it. Make sure everything is just right.

It is hard to be original nowadays. Finding a new way to make Nick a pop star and the boys a band while still keeping everyone entertained is a hard thing to do.
Logged
Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it. ~ John Green

RokofAges75

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 18651
    • Dreamer's Sanctuary
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2009, 06:43:33 PM »

No, AU's not a bad thing.  It's just a matter of preference - a lot of people would rather read about the guys as the Bsb, but others like AUs because they're something different.  Basically, if you come up with an interesting idea, and you write it well, you'll get readers, no problem.  Aaaand even if you come up with a cliched idea or copy somebody else's and don't write it well, you'll probably get some readers anyway LOL.

AC's a popular site; there's lots of writers, lots of readers, and generally, people aren't too critical.  The goal is just to come up with your own idea and write it yourself; as long as you do that, you'll get encouragement here.  Constructive criticism is good, but everyone has to start somewhere, and practice makes perfect.  The more you write, the better you'll get, simple as that!

But you're welcome! :)
Logged
~Julie

"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling

LuckyMe

  • Fledgling
  • *
  • Posts: 30
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2009, 06:56:36 PM »

Yeah, I think it's very hard to be original aswell... Most things has already been done, but I guess it's how you do it that makes the difference.

I do try a lot to go out of the box, the whole 'boy meets girl and fall in love' isn't really my thing... I guess I do more things like AU (see, I do pay attention ;)), and I love to kill people off LOL... I like to write about things that haven't been done before (not a lot at least)

I also have a mafia story, which have never been posted (VERY AU, that's my new word)

Aaah, that's good cos without readers who really wanna write? lol

It's a bit weird, cos I've had people to look at this chapter before and they said that it was just fine. Maybe they didn't pay that much attention really.
Logged

mare

  • Banner hater
  • Queen of Fanfiction
  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *****
  • Posts: 23833
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2009, 09:08:47 PM »

^ Aww, well that's one thing about our site that might set us apart from the rest. We don't miss much here. We're pretty observant and on top of things.
Logged
Writing is something you do alone. Its a profession for introverts who want to tell you a story but don't want to make eye contact while doing it. ~ John Green

honey

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 5321
    • Being Jamie Baker Website
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2009, 09:52:19 PM »

lol I heart AU's and read them more often than regular ones.
Logged
If Ryan looked at me the wrong way, I lost it. If Ryan looked at me the right way, I lost it. And whenever he tried to kiss me, something usually blew up. Someone ought to teach him a little control.

RokofAges75

  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *******
  • Posts: 18651
    • Dreamer's Sanctuary
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2009, 10:00:42 PM »

^ Aww, well that's one thing about our site that might set us apart from the rest. We don't miss much here. We're pretty observant and on top of things.

This is also true.  The nice thing about AC is that there are a lot of talented writers here who take their craft seriously.  They are more critical than the teenybopper crowd who will read anything as long as Nick's in it (or whoever), and if you ask for honest feedback or constructive criticism, they will give it to you, rather than just going "Great job, more soon!!!"
Logged
~Julie

"Sometimes writers and sociopaths are hard to tell apart." -J.K. Rowling

julilly

  • Master of Havoc
  • Supreme Time Waster
  • *****
  • Posts: 8639
Re: New story that I'm not too sure of... Please, I need your opinions
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2009, 11:15:55 PM »

lol I heart AU's and read them more often than regular ones.

There's other kinds of fic? I must have missed those...
Logged
~Maple Jellybean~

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? ... I don't know, and I don't care.
Pages: [1] 2