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Professor Veigler’s Boggart


“I’ve got a brilliant lesson in store for you lot today!” Professor Veigler said, jumping up from the dusty old trunk he’d dragged out to the center of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The trunk instantly began to rattle and shake across the floor before their very eyes the moment that his weight was off of it. Lily Evans was to one side, crouching close to the floor, staring at the shuffling trunk with wide eyes. Peter ducked between Remus’s wheelchair and James, who was pushing him along, as Sirius stared hungrily at the trunk, eager to find out what was making it move like that. “Today, we’ll be learning about boggarts,” Veigler announced.

“Boggarts,” whispered Sirius, mesmerized already. He scurried to sit on the wood floor next to Lily.

Remus looked nervous.

“What are boggarts?” Lily asked, her voice tremulous.

James pushed Remus closer and then sat down on the floor, leaning against the wheels of the chair as Peter reluctantly lowered himself between James and Sirius.

“They’re a sort of spiritual being,” Professor Veigler answered Lily, “An amortal shape-shifter. The thing that goes bump in the night? Or the proverbial monster beneath your bed? That’s most likely a boggart.”

Lily looked frightened, though not nearly as much so as Peter did, who was positively pale. Sirius patted Peter’s shoulder with an amused expression. “What do they look like?” Lily asked.

“An excellent question, as usual, Miss. Evans,” Professor Veigler said as he walked ‘round so he was standing behind the trunk. “No wizard has ever seen a boggart in it’s natural form. Our best guess is that when it lies in wait in the dark and shadows, the boggart has no form. Boggarts take on the form of an on-looker’s worst fear, and so, until someone has looked at it, the boggart doesn’t know what to become.”

“This sounds like a ghost story,” Lily said.

“Ghosts are far more predictable than a boggart,” Veigler said, “Ghosts are an echo of a living being whose soul has been left behind on the earth to fulfill some purpose. A boggart’s sole purpose is to strike fear in the heart of any it can come into contact with. A boggart feeds off fear, similarly to the way a dementor feeds of good and happiness. Likewise, a boggart strikes fear in order to eat, in a manner of speaking.”

Lily shivered.

Sirius asked, “So that’s a real boggart you’ve got in that trunk there?”

“Yes it is,” Professor Veigler answered, “And, before the end of this lesson, you’ll have each had an opportunity to face him.”

“Are there a lot of boggarts in the world, sir?” Peter asked squeakily.

Professor Veigler nodded, “Oh yes. Loads. They love lurking in shadows and in dusty attics and all sorts of places. Dark alleyways, abandoned buildings, deep forests… you get the idea. There are, of course, boggarts that are stronger than others - and that’s led to some fairly well known boggarts over time… For example there was the Old Boggle of Canterbury, which had scared an entire village into believing he was a cannibalistic hermit… and the Bludgeoning Boggart of Old London Town. He wrecked such havoc on the whole of London that it took a very powerful wizard to conquer him. Turned him into a hamster, as the story goes. And of course the Screaming Bogey of Strathtully.” Veigler looked at Remus, “I suppose you know all about him, don’t you, Mr. Lupin?”

All eyes turned toward Remus, who had turned quite red. “My dad still has the matchbox,” he murmured.

“What?” James asked.

Remus sighed, “My dad helped catch the Screaming Bogey of Strathtully for the Ministry… Him and Newt Scamander, back when they worked together… Stuffed him in a matchbox...”

“Bloody hell, your dad’s lived a life and a half, hasn’t he?” Sirius exclaimed.

Remus muttered something that sounded like I suppose.

“Love how he says it so offhand too,” James said, rolling his eyes at Remus, “This is yet another thing I’d be bragging about every time I met someone. Hello, I’m Remus Lupin, my father’s mates with Newt Scamander and helped him capture a bloody boggart in a bloody matchbox!”

Remus was about as red as they get. “It’s really not as impressive as it sounds…”

Veigler smiled about at them as they talked, then cleared his throat, “I know just what each of you is wondering. So how is it that we defeat a boggart? Well, let me tell you. It’s not the easiest job to do, but -- but we’ll succeed at it if only we work together.”

As Professor Veigler moved back around the trunk to come to the front closer to them, his robes swished about his ankles and Remus turned up his nose, catching a smell of something that made his heart quicken. He eyed Veigler with suspicion. There was something funny about him, something that Remus couldn’t quite place that made him quite dislike the man. The boggarts lesson seemed a purposeful attack against him, though he didn’t know exactly how or why. He simply knew that Veigler bothered him so much that he felt a headache coming on that pressed against the front part of his brain.

“The incantation we’ll be learning today is riddikulus,” said Professor Veigler. “Repeat after me -- riddikulus!”

The five of them repeated it with vigor.

“Very good,” Veigler said, “Though with a bit more flare to it, Potter. Riddikulus!”

“Riddikulus!” repeated James forcefully.

Professor Veigler looked very pleased, “Perfect! Very good, the lot of you. Alright, so who can venture a guess of what riddikulus does?”

They all glanced around at each other, their eyes falling alternatively on Lily or Remus. Finally Remus said, “It makes the boggart into something funny.”

Veigler pointed at Remus, “Excellent!” He stood again, allowing the trunk to shimmey and shake once more. “The key to defeating a boggart, you see, is to make it think you aren’t afraid of it or the shape it’s conjured up for you. So - now - before we begin, I want each of you to honestly imagine the most terrifying thing you can possibly think of. Something that’ll really scare you deep to your bones! Think on it, think really hard… and now… think of what would make that thing positively hilarious instead.”

Remus wasn’t sure what could possibly be funny about the full moon. He gnawed his lower lip and glanced around at the others as they concentrated hard on their fears and their funny remedies. He looked up at Professor Veigler and swallowed back a nervous feeling in his stomach. Dumbledore had said that Veigler didn’t know about his mooniness, but what if Veigler saw the full moon boggart that Remus was sure to produce when he’d learned the spell. What if Veigler took one look at the shiny moon and put two and two together?

“I don’t want to face the boggart,” squeaked Peter, “I’m too scared.”

“Which is why you need to think of what might make your worst fear funny,” Veigler said, smiling at Peter. “Trust me. You’ll do brilliantly if you put your mind to it, Mr. Pettigrew.” But Peter still looked quite nervous.

Lily raised her hand.

“Miss. Evans?” Professor Veigler asked.

“Well, sir, what if we can’t defeat the boggart? What if the funny thing we think of isn’t enough to change the boggart or we’re bad at the spell? Can a boggart do harm?”

Veigler considered this a moment, “Depends,” he said, “I suppose it depends on what it is you’re afraid of. The boggart’s shape will have the powers of whatever it is you’re afraid of - but less potently so. For example, if you’re afraid of -- oh, I don’t know -- say you’re afraid of poisonous snakes. A real snake’s bite might kill you, but a boggart of the same snake will merely maim.”

“Well that’s comforting,” muttered James.

Remus couldn’t help but chuckle.

Veigler smiled at James’s comment, “What should be comforting is that I promise you will all do quite well at the assignment. He’s a weak boggart, what I’ve got in this trunk here, and you lot are rather gifted with humor… I have no fear that we’ll have any issues in defeating the boggart right off.” He looked around at them, then, with a flourish, he turned and reached for the locks on the trunk. “Here we go! Remember - riddikulus!” The locks clicked and the lid flew open and --

CRACK!

The boggart had first turned into what looked like a grey dog with long fangs and nasty red eyes. He was facing Professor Veigler. It took a moment for any of the students to realize that it wasn’t just a dog -- it was a wolf. A werewolf, Remus had a feeling. He felt sick. “Riddikulus!” Professor Veigler announced, and with another - CRACK! - there appeared a teeny-tiny little pink-eyed poodle, who yipped happily at Professor Veigler’s feet as he laughed down at it.

“Sirius, you’re up,” he giggled as he waved the boggart away.

Sirius stood up and took a couple paces toward the little poodle, which yip-yipped twice more before locking eyes with Sirius Black and - CRACK! - before him on the floor laid James. He was dead, blood dripping from his nostrils, slack-jawed and still, his glasses shattered and askew on his face, his eyes open but vacantly staring to the ceiling, the memory of life hidden behind a glassy unfocus that was deeply disturbing. Sirius hadn’t been expecting it - he’d expected his father or mother to appear, not this.

“No,” he stammered, “James - no.”

Sirius stumbled backwards and nearly tripped over the real James’s legs. Seeing him, Sirius turned back to the boggart, no longer afraid of what he saw, knowing it wasn’t real, but unsure how to make it funny, either. There was no way to make it funny that your friend’s laying on the floor before you, dead. And then - CRACK! - it was no longer James there but Peter and -- CRACK! -- Lily and then -- CRACK! -- the worst of all. Remus. “NO!” Sirius yelled and he waved his wand, struggling very, very hard to picture Remus wearing funny looking pyjamas instead, “Riddikulus!”

CRACK!

Boggart-Remus now lay before them in fluffy pink bunny slippers and a robe like something an old woman might wear.

“Oh, thanks for that, mate,” Remus said, “You couldn’t even have made them manly jammies. Had to make them fluffy pink bunnies.”

The boggart-Remus looked at the real Remus and -- CRACK! -- just as he’d expected, it was the full moon, a shining white orb that hung there before him, the clouds parting, causing an eerie sort of twisting feeling in his gut. Surely the boggart moon couldn’t change him, could it?

“R - riddiku - riddi --” Remus stammered, concentrating too hard on suppressing the wolf within himself to thank about something funny.

Sirius recognized Remus’s struggle, a nervous look on his face, “Oi, Rey, it looks like a block of cheese, imagine if there was a little mouse nibbling on the edge of the moon? Space mice!”

James laughed, “With a little air helmet and the suit and all!”

Remus snorted at the thought of a tiny space mouse, the sound of his friend’s voices helping to suppress the ruddy wolfish feelings he was fighting. “Riddikulus!” he said, waving his wand and -- CRACK! -- there it was, the little space mouse, nibbling on the edge of the moon. They all laughed loudly.

The Space Mouse spotted James next and -- CRACK! -- it was Voldemort that stood before them, his long robes billowing as he held his hands out toward James, drawing his wand from within his robes pocket. James swallowed back his nerves, waved his wand, “Riddikulus!” he cried out and -- CRACK -- the Boggart-Voldemort was suddenly wearing a daisy chain ‘round his head with ducks spouting from his wand and James guffawed loudly, “Bloody hell! See, look, Peter -- THAT is what good anaticula will come in handy one day.”

“Good one, James!” shouted Sirius.

Peter peeked up from where he sat, his palms covering his eyes, but he only got to see the silly Boggart-Voldemort for a moment before -- CRACK -- it had become a whole legion of Death Eaters, leaning over menacingly, coming ever closer, growing ever larger, looming and cackling, with heavy-lidded, evil laughter. Peter cowered.

“Get’em Peter!” Sirius shouted.

Peter shook his head and clutched quickly to Sirius, pressing his face into Sirius’s shoulder as the Death Eaters pressed closer around them. “You’ve gotta do it Peter, it’s not so hard, just face your fear,” Sirius commanded, pushing Peter off his shoulder.

Peter shivered, “Riddikulus he murmured, waving his wand.

CRACK!

The boggart Death Eaters had changed into a load of butterflies that fluttered about in circles until Lily Evans had stood up and -- CRACK!

It was Petunia Evans and Lily let out a choked squeal. “Tuney!” she said, “Oh Tuney.” Boggart-Petunia glowered at Lily hatefully. Sirius looked bewildered between the boggart and Lily, who scowled and waved her wand, “Riddikulus!” she wailed sadly and -- CRACK! The spell hadn’t been said strong enough - for now the boggart was laying on the floor before Lily, a gold frame containing a family photo, just like the one on her nightstand, her own self in the image, but alone. Tears filled Lily’s eyes - no family. The thought terrified her, being left with nobody to love her, and she shook her head, forcing herself to think of her mum and dad and her friends here at the school - of Remus and Annalee and Marlene and Emmaline and Severus and Sirius and Peter and - oh hell, even James, too -- and she waved her wand again, her voice much stronger this time, “Riddikulus!”

CRACK!

The Boggart’s photograph was so full of people now that the frame burst like a firework and the boggart was gone.

“Well done!” shouted Veigler, clapping his hands, grinning about at them. He ran forward and stood before them. They all looked quite exhausted and were shooting glances at one another, thinking about the things they’d learned from each other’s greatest fears. “Very good!” Veigler praised them, “And you even finished him off! More than what my Hufflepuff and Slytherin third years were able to do! Though I’ll have to see about finding another for the Ravenclaws now…”

The rest of the class was quite awkward, none of them sure what to say about the other’s fears - least of all, Lily’s. It was quite strange, knowing something so deeply personal about one another, and, not for the first time, Sirius found himself thinking how very glad he was that it was just the five of them in the Gryffindor classes. It could’ve been far worse than it was, this class. There could’ve been loads of people there to witness everything they’d just seen - at least this way it had only been them, the people who Sirius trusted most in the world with his secrets anyway. But not everyone had taken such a positive tack on the thing, and the moment that Professor Veigler had dismissed them, Lily ran from the room.