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James Potter’s Only Regret


It was Rubeus Hagrid who had the idea.

“T’was back a few months ago,” he said suddenly, “But Professor Veigler came ter my cabin, middle’er the night, says he needs to know a bit about the lay o’ the land about Hogwarts… Says he needs ter see all’er the places a man could go to hide ‘round ‘bout Hogsmeade ‘n the castle. Walkin’ distance, he said, an it’s got ter be a secret. Says Dumbledore knows ‘bout it and that he needs ter know as quickly as possible, as he’s workin’ on sommat for Dumbledore…” Hagrid looked apologetic to the Headmaster, “Should’ve checked with yeh first, made sure he was tellin’ the truth.”

“You had no reason to doubt a Professor, Hagrid,” Dumbledore said, “And Professor Veigler was telling the truth. He’d asked me about the location of a place to hide for his full moon transformations and I -- I asked him to speak to you about a secure place in the area. The only one that I knew of was… previously engaged.”

The members of the resistance gave Dumbledore a funny look.

“Go on, Hagrid,” Dumbledore requested.

Hagrid nodded, “So yeh see I got me crossbow and I brought Ned all about Hogsmeade an’ the forest, showed him a good deal ‘er places an’ he made a big production out ‘er settin’ protective charms over ‘em. But was this one cave in the mountains o’er lookin’ the village, he seemed ‘specially int’rested in.”

Dumbledore rubbed his chin. “Hagrid, do you know where this cave is?”

“O’course,” Hagrid replied, nodding.

“Can you take us there?”

“Yes, o’course, anythin’ yeh think would help, I’ll do!” Hagrid thumbed to the door, “Lemme git me crossbow and I’ll meet yeh at the gates.”

“Yes, thank you Hagrid,” Dumbledore nodded. He looked at the others in the room. “I’m going to need to beg you leave,” he said, “At least for the moment. There is something extremely important that I have just thought of, which I need to check upon myself. I have an idea of where this cave is that Hagrid speaks of - if you’d go with him and see if you can’t find the Potter boy, and I will join you as soon as I have completed what I need to.”

“In the midst of all this, you’re going to abandon us? For some other cause? What could possibly be greater than saving a boy --” demanded McGonagall hotly, eyes flashing.

“Saving four,” Dumbledore replied.

McGonagall quieted and she set her jaw and turned to the others, “Let’s go,” she said.

They hurried from the room and Dumbledore turned, grabbing his wand from the desk and he looked at Fawkes. “Go wherever you are needed tonight, Fawkes,” he said thickly. “You know better than I do.” Dumbledore turned and hurried from the room.




The moon’s light pooled through the mouth of the cave slowly, Fenrir standing as far back from it as he could, trying to prolong the time before his transformation. He glared at James, frustrated. “You haven’t got much longer, kid.”

James stared straight ahead, struggling to keep an expression of indifference upon his face. He was unable to see more than vague, blurry shapes before him anyway without his glasses, and too afraid to allow his emotions to show. Greyback must not know how frightened he was. Rudolphus laughed lowly.

“I truly thought your father was a more loyal man than to let you die like this, but it seems all he is is a coward,” mocked Greyback. He grinned, teeth bared. “But it’s alright, I reckon… I’m so hungry, I may not even make you suffer… much.”




Hagrid led the members of the Resistance hurriedly along the streets of Hogsmeade as the last of the sun was dipping past the mountains. They were running - the whole crowd of them - and the people of Hogsmeade watched them go by with concern in their eyes. The bartender from the Hogshead stood outside, leaning against the frame of his doorway, smoking, as they passed and he raised his eyebrow as they went, puffing the smoke from his pipe slowly. He glanced down the other path - the way Dumbledore had just gone after emerging from the portrait tunnel that led between the castle and the Hogshead’s backroom, and he wondered what was going on that Albus had not told him about.

“Not much farther, not much farther,” Hagrid assured them as they plowed their way through the forest, climbing higher and higher up a trail that led into the mountains. The crags were steep and rough. “It’s right up here,” Hagrid announced and they came ‘round he corner to see the mouth of a cave cutting out from the stone.

“Wands,” McGonagall whispered and everyone - save for Hagrid - drew a wand from their pockets. Hagrid clutched a pink umbrella on his wrist, which he’d insisted on carrying, even though McGonagall had cast an impervious spell to keep the rains from falling upon them. “Quietly now,” she said thickly, and she waved for them to follow her as silently as possible.




“Alright Potter, your damn fool of a father thinks we’re playing a game,” Fenrir Greyback laughed, “Let’s see that he knows we’re playing by the rules. We’ll send him your heart once I rip it out of your chest.”

He stepped into the moonlight, letting it strike him, giving in to the burning that had run through his veins as the moon moved into position. He laughed joyfully as his skin bubbled and his mangy grey-black fur tore through, his thick jaw strengthening, his long teeth stretching even further, so that they jut out of the top of his mouth and hung down over his elongated snout. His ears came to points, his tail rolled from his backside, and claws sharp as razors shot from his paws. Soon, there stood a wolf, the shape of which James could tell, even half blind as he was, was much, much larger than your typical wolf. Much larger. This wolf took up the entirety of the mouth of the cave almost, his hackles quivering, teeth bared, and then -- he let out a loud, powerful howl that shook the cave, stones vibrating across the floor.

Rudolphus stared in awe at the wolf, his eyes hungry for blood, glancing between Greyback and James. James crawled backwards until his back hit the wall of the cave, his eyes wide. Was this what happened to Remus every month? He thought, horrified for his mate. He shivered and wondered at Sirius’s bravery to go to the Shack each month to see a werewolf - he could only hope that perhaps Remus’s wasn’t as large as this…

Greyback had a low, barking laugh at the fear in James Potter’s eyes. Finally, he thought, and he was pleased that he would get to look into terrified eyes as he ate. He started towards James slowly, drawing it out, relishing the way James scrambled a bit, scrabbling for a way out, but finding the end of the cave was there, directly behind him. Time to play with my food... The wolf lowered himself into a playful stance, teeth still bared, eyes dancing over his prey, and he wagged his tail.

James was pressed as far back as he could possibly go and still Greyback advanced. He wished desperately he’d gotten to say goodbye to his friends - prayed that his father and mother would be okay, that they wouldn’t submit to the Dark Lord, no matter what parts of him they received as proof of his slaughter. He hoped that his father would be strong, that his mother would eventually be able to stop crying. He hoped Sirius would be there for Remus and for Peter and that maybe Peter would learn to be brave one day… that Remus would find a cure for his furry little problem one day… And he closed his eyes, preparing to die, and he thought of Lily Evans.

Her beautiful red hair… her bright emerald eyes… he wanted the thought of her to be the last that he ever had, and so, with a deep breath, he forced out all of the fear to focus only on her.

James Potter sat in the cave, a werewolf about to devour him, and he imagined Lily Evans hand in his. Remembered her laugh, the way she’d looked at him that night at Slughorn’s Quidditch party the year before, when he’d gotten them the cups of mead and they’d stood to one side alone. He remembered the way her adorable button nose had turned up at the taste of the alcohol and he smiled, a breath of a laugh escaping him. He remembered how she’d run up to him back in October - the 11th, to be exact - when she’d wanted to know where Sirius was and he’d told her he’d tell her if only she’d give him a kiss. He could still feel the way her lips had felt pressed against the corner of his… even if it had only been for but a second, it had burned life through him, and he felt the strength of it course through his veins.

James Potter’s only regret, he realized, was that he’d never gotten Lily Evans to give him a proper kiss.

But he wanted a proper kiss.

He deserved a proper kiss.

The only way he’d get a proper kiss was to make it out of this cave alive.

Greyback was so close now that James could feel his rancid, nasty breath on his neck.

He had to fight for it.

Fight for a chance with Lily Evans.

James opened his eyes. “No,” he said, “I’m not done fighting you yet.” And he kicked his legs, bound as they were they were like a single battering ram and he struck Greyback when he least expected it, right in the front haunch, sending the wolf to the floor. James struggled to flip himself over as quick as he could and rolled to the rock where Orion Black had sat, sharpening his knife. He could barely see, so he had to rely on his memory of where the knife had been and it took him a moment before he felt the blunt handle of it. James moved until he’d grabbed hold of it, cutting open the binds on his wrists and then his ankles. Rudolphus Lestrange looked shocked for a moment. He looked to where he’d left James’s wand, right next to his own, where he’d been sitting before Greyback had begun his game. The glance he gave them was enough for James to know where they were and they both leaped toward them. They wrestled over the wands, landing upon them at exactly the same time. Greyback stood up, shaking himself off and lunged forward to the fray as well.

There was a shout from the mouth of the cave and McGonagall stepped in, “NO!” she screamed and she waved her wand, sending a stunner for the wolf, who fell to the floor once again, but only for a second. He was back to his feet within a moment, lunging once more for where James and Rudolphus Lestrange fought for the wands. “I SAID NO!” she bellowed, and stunned the wolf yet again.

Rudolphus managed to wrest the wands away from James and he quickly aimed his at the black skull and snake on his wrist, pressing it hard into the skin. The tattoo burned the deepest black and then shone brilliantly red, fiery against his pale skin.

There were cracks outside the cave as Death Eaters appeared and the other members of the Resistance were engaged. McGonagall rushed forward, her wand raised at Rudolphus, but he laughed, “Sorry, Minney, but we do have orders.” So he waved his wand, “Petrificus Totalus!” and McGonagall went stiff as stone and fell to the floor. “Ennervate,” Rudolphus waved his wand at Fenrir Greyback. “The Resistance. They’re here. I already gave the signal.”

Greyback growled, looking at James with his angry, burning yellow eyes.

“I told you Dumbledore would come for me, you stupid dog!” James said boldly to the wolf’s snarling form. “Albus Dumbledore doesn’t ever let down the people who believe in him. EVER.”

Rudolphus grabbed hold of James, “We ain’t out of our bag of tricks yet, Potter,” he said, and he waved his wand. “Expulso!” The mouth of the cave blasted open, rocks flying every which way. McGonagall’s eyes were frozen open, a panic in them as Rudolphus dragged James out through the frenzy that had resulted with the explosion, Death Eaters and Resistance members alike in disarray, avoiding the flying rock and debris, too focused on not falling over the edge of the mountain or getting hit by an errant spell to notice as Rudolphus Lestrange pulled James out of the remains of the cave and rushed down the hill, away from the fight, followed by the seething werewolf.




Meanwhile, back in Hogsmeade, Dumbledore ran through the streets, up an alleyway, and came to the plot of land where the Shrieking Shack stood. “Alohamora!” he bellowed at the gate, sending it flying open, and he hurried up the pathway toward the lonely, dark building, scared of what he would find there...