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"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin"


Kevin opened one eye, bracing himself for whatever was happening at this very moment. He'd been having a wonderful dream about what could possibly happen after giving Nick his Christmas present before he was pulled back to the land of the living by shrieks and screams. When his vision cleared and he was able to focus his grin returned. Nick, Odin and Saoirse were standing beside the bed the biggest smiles he'd ever seen adorning all three faces. He pulled the blanket up higher against his nakedness and sat up.

"What's going on guys?" he asked laughing.

"SNOW!" Nick yelped, his blue eyes twinkling bright.

Internally Kevin sent up a prayer of thanks. Step one in his plan was here. "It snowed?" he asked, trying to pretend like he had no prior knowledge of this wonderful phenomenon.

Odin shook his head emphatically. "It's white."

Kevin laughed. "It is white buddy. It's white and cold and magic."

"Can we go play in it Kev?" Nick asked, his face reminiscent of the child he used to be.

Kevin chuckled. "I need to get dressed first, but yes, let's go play in the snow."

Odin cheered and took off out of the room to get his jacket. Nick's grin was a mile wide and filled Kevin with hope and love. He couldn't wait to go through the rest of his plan. Nick picked up Saoirse and bent down to place a kiss gently against Kevin's lips before straightening.

"Hurry up old man, there's snow!" he yelled as he bundled out of the room to get everyone dressed.


The snow adventure with the kids didn't go as easily as Nick had anticipated but it was still fun. Saoirse didn't like the cold and refused to be put on the ground so either Nick or Kevin had to hold her at all times. Odin loved the snow for exactly 20 minutes before he'd had enough and wanted to go back inside. Nick sadly admitted defeat and they headed back in. Nick vowed to come back out once the kids had left. Maybe he and Kevin could have a snowball fight or make snow angels! Sure it was silly, but growing up in Florida didn't allow him much access to snow and he still found it thrilling.

After a quick lunch Nick went upstairs to pack bags for the kids to take to Kristin's. The plan was for Kristin to bring the boys with her to pick up Nick's kids while Kevin drove back to her house loaded up with all the Santa gifts for all four kids. This way he could hide them without any child seeing what they were getting ahead of time. Kevin already had his truck packed and ready to go. Now it was up to Nick to get the kids dressed and packed. Kevin had been secretive ever since they came back inside and Nick had decided he didn't much care for surprises if it made him this closed off. He didn't much care for secrets when it involved his lover.

He dug around in the closet until he found the two small backpacks he had brought to Kevin's several months ago he sat back on his butt in the middle of the floor of Odin's room and allowed the emotions he was feeling a chance to bubble up to the surface. He remembered so vividly packing these backpacks the first time. Screaming at the top of his lungs at Lauren while she had tried to grab his arms or stand in his way. In one particular shining moment when he had gone to make sure both kids were safe and okay in another bedroom she had tumped both suitcase over and thrown the toys and clothes all over the room. He'd came back to an absolute mess, her eyes wild as she continued to yell and throw insult after insult at him. He stood there in the middle of the room and had closed his eyes. Trying desperately to hold on, he had repeated the words Kevin had spoken to him so long ago. You are smart, strong and capable. They had become a mantra from him over the years. Every time he was faced with something hard or he felt like he couldn't go on, he would say those words to himself and they would give him the strength he needed to go a little further, to work a little harder.

Smiling inwardly he also remembered that usually once he got through whatever it was that was so difficult, that Kevin was always standing on the other side, with arms open wide. Waiting and willing for him to step into them for comfort and grace. It was in that instance that he knew exactly where he needed to be. He'd pushed past her as he repacked the bags and took them to the car before heading back into the house to rescue his children. He had packed them away, driven for days and ended up on Kevin's doorstep, exactly where he always needed to be.

It seemed like a lifetime ago, but one he was thankful to leave behind. Now as he packed the bags he could take his time, focus on what they would need knowing Kristin would take excellent care of both of them and when they reunited in the morning they would be celebrating Christmas together as one big happy family, exactly as he'd always wanted. The thought alone put a giddy spring in his step.

"What's got you all smiles?" Kevin said from his perch against the doorframe.

Nick jerked up, surprised to be interrupted in his task. "Just thinking about you, and how lucky I am. And thinking about how excited I am for Christmas."

Kevin smiled. "You have no idea baby. Just wait until you get your present." he wiggled his eyebrows and laughed as the scowl crossed Nick's face.

"I do not like all the secrets." the younger man huffed as he went back to zipping the backpacks up.

Kevin laughed. "Oh, but I really hope you will."

Nick turned and smiled. "I'm sure I'll love it Kev. I love everything you've ever given me. I just hope you like my gift. I suppose I'll give it to you tonight as well."

Kevin grabbed Saoirse's backpack and zipped it before heading to the bed and grabbing Odin's stuffed alligator. "Did you get Saoirse's llama? She won't sleep without it."

Nick smiled. "Good catch, I did not grab it."

Kevin nodded and left the room to grab the stuffy before rejoining Nick in Odin's room. He wrapped his arm around Nick and gave him a squeeze. "Kristin will be here in about an hour and then I need an hour or so to get ready for tonight."

Nick smirked at him. "This is sounding more elaborate every time. We need a babysitter and you need time to prepare. My gift is going to be nothing in comparison to whatever it is that you have planned."

"I got my Christmas gift the moment you showed up here. I get a little more every time you touch or kiss me. Every day with you is a gift and I treasure each and every one."

Nick blushed. "I love you Kev."

Kevin leaned over and kissed Nick's temple. "I love you too."


Nick was nervous. He wasn't entirely sure why, he had been given strict instructions to shower and dress in the clothes Kevin had laid out for him. That was a little odd, but Kevin had looked so determined that Nick hadn't wanted to second guess him. After kissing both his kids goodbye and hugs for Maxwell and Mason he had headed upstairs to shower while Kevin completed his Santa errand to Kristin's house. When he walked into the bedroom he was momentarily stunned to see the suit laid out on the bed. It was a deep navy color with a crisp white shirt. Suddenly Nick felt very unsure of himself. What in the world was Kevin up to? There was no way that his song would ever measure up to whatever it was that Kevin had planned. He sighed softly before stripping his clothes off and heading towards the bathroom. He studied himself in the mirror frowning at what he saw. He tried hard to push down the feelings of inadequacy and hatred toward himself but it was hard sometimes. All he wanted was to be good for Kevin and he hated when he felt like he didn't measure up. He turned the tap on high and let it run for a few moments before stepping under the hot spray. He was slowly getting excited about whatever his present was. He was mostly looking forward to the secrets stopping. Never again he thought as he finished cleaning himself up.


The sun was just beginning its descent. It had appeared for just a short period of time in between the snowfalls. There has been so much snowfall during the afternoon one could barely tell where they brought the kids out to play that morning. Kevin smiled thinking about the way he'd been woken up that morning. He could only hope this went well and he could have moments like this for the rest of his life. He straighten the lapels on his suit coat. He figured Nick was probably out of the shower and getting dressed right about now. He'd ordered dinner and had picked it up on his way back from Kristin's. It was keeping warm in the oven and his hope was that after they got to the present and everything turned out okay that they could eat dinner in front of the fireplace and warm up from being out in the snow. He'd already started the fire and by the time they were finished outside and back in the living room the fire should have had enough time to heat the room.

His hands were clammy and he felt his breath catch in his throat in the coolness of the snowy air. He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves and turned to watch the sunset. The snow was beginning to start again, Kevin couldn't have asked for a better evening to do this. He patted his breast pocket and smiled feeling the weight of Nick's present. A few minutes longer and Nick should be coming downstairs. He had told Nick to get cleaned up and meet him out on the patio. He glanced down at his watch. Should be anytime. He heard a noise from behind him and glanced back into the house. The air around him shifted and he felt his eyes grow wide and his mouth go dry. Before him stood the most gorgeous thing he had ever laid eyes on. The blue suit made Nick's eyes shine so bright they were blinding. He felt his heartbeat speed up as the blonde stepped out onto the porch. Kevin held out his hand and Nick took it, lacing their fingers together.

"You look…" Kevin couldn't even finish his sentence.

Nick blushed and smiled at the older man. "Kevin you are a dream. I love you."

Kevin smiled and pulled the younger man to him, kissing him gently on the forehead before pulling him out in the snow. Nick laughed and stumbled behind him. "Kev, I'm going to ruin these pants."

Kevin smiled. "I'll buy you another pair. I just wanted you dressed up for this." They walked to the center of the yard, snow falling all around them.

"For what?" Nick asked, turning to look at the older man. Kevin was suddenly not beside him, confused, Nick turned around and felt the air leave his lungs as his eyes focused on the beautiful, wonderful, kneeling, man in the snow.

Nick's eyes grew wide as Kevin reached up and took both his hands in his. "Baby, I have never in my life wanted anything more than I've wanted you, a chance with you, a chance for us. I always imagined if I could get you to notice, to really see me and the love I have for you that I could make you the happiest man alive, just like you make me every single day just by being you. I love you, desperately and I love both of those babies as if they were my own. I know everything is up in the air with the divorce and custody and we will have to wait for all of that and that there's going to be a hell of a lot more thrown at us before we get our happily ever after. I want you to know I'm here. I'm not going anywhere and I am in this for the long haul. I love you baby. Will you make me the happiest man on this earth and marry me?"

Kevin gazed up at Nick, silent tears sliding down both of their faces. Nick dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Kevin's chest, almost knocking him over in the process. Kevin moved to kneel on both knees in an attempt to keep them both upright. He hugged the younger man tightly against him, unsure if this was a happy hug or a sad one. He decided not to press and squeezed his eyes shut, pulling the man as close as possible. After a few seconds Nick pulled back and looked deeply into Kevin's eyes.

"Yes, a thousand times yes. I want to be with you forever." Nick's eyes shown in the diming light, his cheeks rosy with the cold.

Kevin gripped the back of Nick's head and crushed their lips together. They kissed passionately, oblivious to the cold and enjoyed being newly engaged and together. They broke apart breathless and freezing.

"I can't believe you did this." Nick said as Kevin opened his jacket and extracted the slim silver band from his pocket. He slid it on Nick's finger, in the place his old ring had been, before bringing Nick's hand up to his mouth and kissing the cool metal. Nick sighed happily as he watched Kevin's movements.

"I love you, I want you to always know and always believe that it will be you and me against everything, forever baby." Kevin's said getting to his feet and pulling Nick up as well.

They embraced tightly, neither willing to let the other go even though the temperature was quickly falling and their pants were wet. They stood together, holding each other and sharing small, sweet kisses until the last remnants of sunlight drifted from the sky, replacing it with a cool dark grey sky as the snow continued to fall. Once it got too cold for both of them, they broke apart and Kevin pulled Nick towards the house.

Once inside Kevin went to the oven to pull out their dinner, grabbing plates and utensils from the kitchen drawers. Nick surveyed the food and the work Kevin had put into this. He stared down at his ring, watching the way it glittered in the kitchen light. He couldn't believe Kevin had done this. He felt like he was soaring; he'd never been happier in his life.

"Thank you." Nick said softly.

Kevin looked up from what he was doing, dishing food onto plates. "For what baby?"

Nick spread his hands wide gesturing to Kevin's preparations. "All of this, for loving me, for giving me the most amazing Christmas gift I could have ever asked for. Just knowing you love me enough to put up with my bullshit for any period of time is just astonishing to me."

Kevin smiled. "Always baby. Always you and me."

Kevin gestured towards the plates. "Take those into the living room. I've already started the fire. I'll grab the wine and we can eat in there to warm up."

Nick flashed him a dazzling smile before lifting the plates and leaving the room. Kevin watched him go, becoming memorized by the sway of his hips. He'd said yes, Nick had agreed to be his husband, agreed to spend the rest of his life with Kevin. The feelings coursing through him were almost too much. He felt like his heart would burst with happiness. He couldn't wait to consummate their engagement.


Kevin stopped in his tracks as he came into the living room. Nick was sitting directly in front of the fire, wearing nothing but his black boxer briefs. The wine glasses shifted in his hand as Kevin struggled to breath at the beautiful sight in front of him. Nick heard and turned, a smile crossing his gorgeous face. Kevin quickly made his way across the room and handed Nick the wine and glasses.

"I guess I'm a little overdressed for the occasion," Kevin said with a laugh as he gazed down at his young lover.

Nick smirked wider. "I agree. My pants were wet and I didn't and to mess up such a nice white shirt with dinner so I thought this was a much better option."

"I'm not complaining. I think you are brilliant." Kevin said as he shrugged out of his jacket and lifted his shirt off his head. In no time he was down to his own boxers and took a seat on the floor beside Nick. He opened the wine and poured them each a glass before leaning over and brushing his lips across the blonde's as he held out the glass. Nick kissed him back, slipping his tongue inside Kevin's mouth swiftly, lovingly caressing before pulling away and taking a drink of his wine.

Settling back they took turns feeding each other bites, taking time to slip their wine and steal kisses as they went. The fire crackled sending off a warm heat that took out the chill from being in the snow. Nick's heart was so full he didn't think he'd ever be cold again. After the plates were cleared Nick shifted closer to the older man until Kevin wrapped his arm around Nick's shoulders and brought him even closer. They sat in front of the fire for a long time. Nick kept sneaking looks at his ring and smiling to himself as he thought about his much this present had meant to him. It has been completely unexpected, never would he have imagined that Kevin was ready to take this step. Sure, they would have to wait until his divorce from Lauren was final, but it would all be worth it if he got Kevin in the end.

"Your present is nowhere as wonderful as this." Nick said softly, unable to meet Kevin's eyes. Kevin's gift had been so wonderful, so thoughtful that Nick felt ridiculous for even bringing the song downstairs.

Kevin grabbed Nick by the chin and turned his face so they were looking into each other's eyes. "Stop. Stop putting yourself down and insinuating that you are not good enough. You are wonderful, everything to me and I am going to spend every day of the rest of your life making you understand that. Your gift is perfect, simply because it came from you. I wanted to do this for you, for us. This gift is just as much for me as it is for you. Knowing you, the famous Nick Carter, wants to spend his life with me, be my husband, is the best gift I could ever ask for. "

Nick blushed and buried his head against Kevin's chest. He allowed Kevin to hold him close for a moment before getting up and crossing the room. He had rewritten the lyrics into a more legible from, saving the original documents he'd scribbled on in case Kevin wanted to make any changes. He grabbed the folder from the coffee table that he'd placed there before meeting Kevin's eyes and came back to take his place in front of the fire beside the older man. He turned and looked at Kevin closely.

"I racked my brain trying to come up with the perfect gift. I really wanted it it be special and personal since it's our first Christmas together. I thought a lot about us and our history. I was reminded about our time in the Bahamas and how you encouraged me, even then to do more for myself and to be better. Thinking back I think in some way that those moments were when my feelings for you started to change, so slowly that I didn't even realize what was happening at the time. So in honor of that and that time, I decided to try to put into words how I felt about you, and us. I wrote a song, and I was hoping that one day, if you like it, that you would record it." Nick said softly, waiting for Kevin to make some kind of reaction.

Kevin's face softened and he reached out to take the folder from Nick. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to the folder.

Nick nodded and handed over the folder. He drew his knees up close to his chest as he leaned back into the couch to support his weight. He was nervous, scared Kevin would hate it or even worse, laugh. He brought his fingers up to his mouth and started hesitantly biting at his nails as Kevin opened the folder and peered down at the words he had poured his heart and soul into for so many days.

Kevin wasn't sure what to expect when he'd opened the folder. He was touched that Nick would even think to do something like this and further intrigued that Nick would want him to record it. Nick had been dropping hints and encouraging him to begin recording a solo record, he just hadn't gotten the guts to start the process. His eyes widened as he read the first verse.

Growing up I wasn't like all of my friends
Going out to find new love every weekend
'Cause every girl I'd meet out would wanna be something more
And every time I cared
It wouldn't be what they're looking for
Put my hope in all the wrong places
It made me see the things I wanted
Guess I made all the right mistakes
'Cause my luck came around
When I stumbled

His heart rate increased as he read the first verse several times over. He could feel the pain, all the heartbreak that Nick had encountered over and over on his quest for someone to love him the right way. He'd been there for every single heart break as one woman after another had let him down. They had all either used or abused him in some way and Nick's giant heart had taken beating after beating. Kevin was still amazed he could even begin to love to trust another human. Hell even the kid's own mother had turned into a pathological liar and user.

Right into your love, right into your love
Right into your love, right into your love
How, I'll never know, how, I'll never know
But I'm staying for it now

The chorus was sweet and Kevin could feel the tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes. This song was so innocent and so completely Nick. Kevin was in awe and could hardly believe it was written just for him.

Like you weren't surprised, you opened up the door
And made me question everything I believed before
And I'll admit it if you admit it on the count of three
Let's say it together
Can this be forever?
Put my hope in all the wrong places
It made me see the things I wanted
Guess I made all the right mistakes
'Cause look what we found
Now I've stumbled

The second verse was what broke him. He felt the tears rush forward before they could stop them, dripping down his cheeks and onto the page. There was more but he couldn't go on. He glanced up and saw the terrified look on Nick's face. He reached a hand out and laced their fingers together. "Baby, it's absolutely beautiful. I can't believe you wrote this. Is this what you've been doing with your notebook all week?"

Nick nodded hesitantly. "Are you sure you like it? You're not just saying that?"

Kevin shook his head, pulling the blond closer to him. He wrapped his arms around Nick's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. After breaking apart he laid his forehead gently against Nick's own. "Never, it's amazing. I wouldn't change a thing. I have never received a more thoughtful and loving present. I love it so much. I love you so much. It's just wonderful. Thank you."

Nick smiled shyly. "Do you think you would record it?"

"If I ever decide to take that step, to record on my own, then it will be the first song I ever record." Kevin answered honestly.
Nick's own eyes filled with tears and he leaned forward, brushing his lips against Kevin's. "Thank you for saying that. I think you should record on your own, but I know you're not there yet. I just wanted to give you something that would hopefully push you down that road. I love your voice and I know millions of fans would agree with me."

Kevin smiled and kissed him again. "You are amazing, do you know that?"

Nick shook his head. "You've got that backwards. You are the amazing one and I'd like to show you."

Nick leaned in and took Kevin's mouth in a crushing kiss. He pushed his tongue inside the other man's mouth, caressing and tasting every inch before breaking away and nuzzling against the side of Kevin's neck. Kevin shifted on the floor, trying to give Nick more access. Nick placed several kisses along Kevin's neck before moving, pushing Kevin down on his stomach. He stood up and removed his own boxers before returning to the floor. Kneeling over Kevin he reached up, slipping his fingers inside the waistband of Kevin's boxers and pulling them down off his ass and down his legs. Once they were both naked Nick settled himself on top of Kevin, his weight resting on either leg as he straddled Kevin's back. Nick’s soft cock and balls rested gingerly against the small of Kevin’s back as he leaned forward and placed a kiss at the back of Kevin’s neck. The motion caused the older man to shiver, giving Nick all the motivation he needed to move forward. He stated at the top of Kevin’s back, licking, sucking and kissing every inch with his mouth and then caressing the flesh with his nimble fingers. Kevin let out several soft moans as Nick moved his ministrations downward. He shifted down Kevin’s back as he worked his way down Kevin’s back, smiling as he went.

Nick could feel himself growing harder the more he kissed the older man, loving the sounds of pleasure his lover made as he continued his actions. By the time he’d moved down far enough for his cock to rest between the cheeks of Kevin’s ass, he was so hard he could barely contain himself any longer. He ground his hips down against the other man, his cock dipping dangerously close to Kevin’s entrance. Kevin let out a deep, shaky moan as the head of Nick’s cock rubbed against his sensitive skin.Nick placed another kiss in the center of Kevin’s lower back before shifting upwards to kiss his mouth. Kevin felt him coming and leaned up on his elbows to meet Nick’s mouth as his lips came down against his own. Nick moaned into the kiss, his dick rubbing delicately against Kevin’s ass.

“Make love to me,” Kevin whispered into the quiet room.

Nick looked at him, unsure he’d heard the other man correctly. Usually it was Kevin fucking him, not the other way around. Nick felt himself grow even harder and bit back a moan. “Are you sure baby?” he asked half scared Kevin would change his mind.

Kevin nodded. “Please. Just be slow.”

Nick smiled and leaned down and brushed their lips together. “Of course baby. I love you.”

“Love you too, hurry. I need you.” Kevin groaned.

Nick got up off Kevin’s back and crossed to the baby basket for the baby oil. They really needed to start carrying lube in their pockets if they were going to make a habit of fucking in every room of the house. He smiled to himself as he grabbed the oil with his left hand and caught sight of the ring on his finger. He was going to make love to his fiancé. He was engaged to the sexiest, most amazing man in the universe. His heart felt so full he thought he might burst. He hurried back to Kevin and settled himself on the back of Kevin’s legs. He grabbed the throw pillow from the couch and helped Kevin ease up off the floor so Nick could slide it under his hips. Once Kevin was propped up high enough Nick went to work applying the baby oil to his fingers. He slipped one inside Kevin easily enough and waited until he felt the older man relax before moving it. He pushed it in and out a couple times, trying his hardest not to give Kevin any discomfort. Once it seemed like Kevin could handle one, he slipped another finger inside. He twisted and turned, fucking his fingers in and out of his lover stretching him in preparation to take Nick. Once he felt Kevin’s hips start pushing back against Nick’s fingers he pulled them out and oiled up his cock. Getting back on his knees he pulled Kevin up by his hips until he was almost on all fours. Nick placed himself against Kevin’s pucker and took a deep breath before slowly easing inside. “God baby, you’re so tight. I love you so much.”

“Love you too, Nicky.” Kevin ground out trying to breathe through the initial pain.

Nick pushed all the way in and sat, waiting for Kevin to adjust before moving. While he waited, trying desperately to hold on, he began stroking Kevin’s long locks, running his fingers through the strands over and over.

“You gotta move baby, I’m dying here.” Kevin said as he pushed his ass back against Nick.

“Anything you say Kev,” Nick said as he pulled almost completely out before slamming back into the older man.

They quickly found a rhythm, Nick thrusting in and out with Kevin pushing back, taking everything that Nick gave him. The only sounds in the room were moans from the lovers and the crackling of the fireplace. Much too soon they were falling over the edge, NIck coming deep inside Kevin while Kevin came all over the throw pillow. Nick eased Kevin back down to the floor before pulling out and rolling onto his back beside him. Both men were breathing heavily, trying desperately to catch their breath.

“That was amazing Nicky, thank you.” Kevin managed to get out before dropping his head down on his folded arms to breathe.

Nick laughed. “There is no need to thank me for that baby. This whole night has been magical from start to finish. I couldn’t ask for anything better.”

Kevin smiled. “I wholeheartedly agree baby. Merry Christmas.”

Nick smiled back and rolled closer, resting his head on top of Kevin’ folded arms and throwing an arm and leg over the other man.

“Merry Christmas baby.”