The next couple months I can't describe in much detail, as they were slightly calmer, but still rough on me and more on Joshua, and I was feeling so bad that everything seemed to happen really fast and to be so confusing. Adding to the fact that I barely slept six hours a night, when I was lucky, because I was so worried that my son would die suddenly that I couldn't get myself to sleep.
As I'd expected, Josh had most of the side effects of all the drugs. He threw up constantly, causing him not to enjoy what little food he could eat, not that he liked the hospital food anyway. He lost a few pounds, bloated terribly and had a little stomach pain. Yeah, I know, not fun. What was worse (or sounded worse to me), was that Josh was experiencing some sort of blood leakage due to a chemo drug called aspariginase, in which the blood somehow leaked from his veins onto "third spaces", which caused his blood volume to be low and him to be dehydrated, so his blood volume was dangerously low and he was dehydrated, but withholding several pounds of fluid in his feet, legs, abdomen and the pleura around his lungs.
All of which led to a long stay at the hospital, battling three different infections and in a very dangerous condition for a few weeks, until he slowly got better.
The next concern was that the chemotherapy wasn't working as well as it should, because a little over a month into Induction, a bone marrow biopsy was done on Joshua and it indicated a significant amount of leukemia cells in the bone marrow. That meant that if the amount of cells didn't start getting lower fast, he would have to quit the chemotherapy regimen and prepare for a BMT, which of course would have been devastating.
So I'm happy to say that the 1st day of December I was given the amazing news that Josh was finally in remission. Which meant that he wouldn't have to quit chemotherapy after all (although he said he would have probably preferred to quit chemo, because he got so sick from it).
Even Dr. Wilson said it made his day. He seemed nearly as joyful as I was over the news, which made me feel like Josh was loved and in good hands.
Funny how things that you didn't used to know or care about, like remission, can suddenly become your primary goal, your utmost wish.
As the social worker said: "You will get used to a new normal."
I guess she was right, but you know what? Sometimes the new normal sucks and I wish I could get back to my old life when I had three perfect kids, a wonderful wife, the magnificent mansion, the greatest friends, and the best job I could ever wish for. Something makes you wonder, why did this have to happen to my son? Everything else loses importance as you battle cancer along with him, nothing else matters that much anymore.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Okay, here it starts moving along a little faster. REVIEW PLEASE!
