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I was finally thinking everything might be okay after all, until the following day, the 2nd of December, something really wrong happened.
I awoke at seven am, as was by now usual for me. I was reading for a while, then I began to prepare breakfast for the kids to eat.
I sent Jamie and Ryan off to school, leaving me alone with Michael.
"So, Mikey, what do you want to do today?" I asked him.
"Can we go to the aquarium?" he asked hopefully. I found his blue eyes especially endearing and his soft, innocent gaze was just irresistable. How could I refuse?
"All right." I answered. "What do you say we make ourselves a picnic and stay all morning at the aquarium, then we come back home and make drawings of sharks and fish and dolphins, then go see Josh and pick up Jamie?"
"Okay!" Mike seemed excited, and I was beginning to feel that way too. After all, I'd spent several months on Josh's bedside, so a break was more than welcome. And I admitted to myself that I'd spent way too much time with Josh at the hospital. I mean, I loved him of course, but that didn't mean that I had to abandon my other children. I admit it was hard for me to pull myself away from Josh, however much I hated to see in what state he was.
I prepared myself a huge sandwich, then one for Michael.
"It's too small!" Mike said. "I'll eat it in one bite!"
I decided not to bother him too much about it and cut him a bigger piece of bread.
"No, no, that's too big!" Mikey smiled. I looked at him wondering exactly what it was that he wanted. "Just kidding, that's perfect." he said, only it sounded like: 'juss kidin, 'ats pehfect', really cute in his boyish little voice. How do you resist a boy like this? He is just too adorable and innocent looking.
Then I packed the napkins, cups and water bottles in a small little backpack, knowing that my little adventurer (that would be Mike) would want to carry it, anyway.
"I love you, daddy!" Michael exclaimed with a giggle and a soft hug, which I kneeled onto my knees to accept.
"Let's go, honey." I said, picked him up and easily eased him onto my shoulders. I handed him the backpack and we went on our way.

* * *

After paying for two tickets with an impatient little boy right next to me, we went inside to be pleasantly surprised by very few visitors. I figured that being a school day, we might be lucky and have a peaceful (okay, relatively peaceful, considering Mikey was there) visit. Although it had been just about twelve years since our last CD, I was still not at all comfortable in crowds, and I constantly worried about the press finding out where I was. I guess that we didn't record any more CD's because we were all busy with our own things: Kevin, Brian and I with our families, AJ and Howie with other things like Howie's lupus foundation. Even if we'd spent twelve years out of the music scene, we had managed to somehow stay in the public's eyes. I guess that proves how loyal our fans are.
So I was glad that we were left in peace for once.
Or so I thought, until a flash of light, undoubtedly from a camera, blinded me momentarily.