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Author's Chapter Notes:
I always feel more encouraged to write it you review *hints* =)
Happy 4th of July, by the way. While I was writing this chapter I was listening to Weather storm, Leaving Paris and Laura's theme (lol, my theme) by Craig Armstrong. Now you're thinking, so what? Well, this music put me in a certain mood. Music is inspiration, as I like to say. You know how some people post lyrics that go with the text? Those three songs are the ones that go with this chapter.
I took a deep breath. "That was my wife's name."
"Was?" the woman asked.
"Yes, she died three years and a half ago, while having Michael." I pointed out Michael to the woman, wondering just why I was doing this. After all, I'd just met her, and I didn't even know her name.
"That's too bad." the woman sympathetically said. "I don't know what I'd do without my Jonathan. By the way, what's your name?"
"Nick." I laughed. "What's your name?"
"Sophia."
She rearranged the leash of her dog, a golden retriever, and tied it to her baby carriage.
I finally had the courage to look at the woman's face, and not her baby.
Her brown hair was cut short, and it suited her face... tiny and cute. She had brown eyes, not very much makeup, and was dressed in a very sophisticated way, seeming very put together.
"So, you're a father. Is Mike your only son?"
"No, I've got three other kids." I answered, wondering why this woman had come up to talk to me. Had I looked lonely? Or had I looked inviting? Or was this a fan undercover? Because if she was, then she was a very good actress.
"But Mike's my youngest. My oldest is sixteen, his name is Ryan. He thinks he could rule the world." I rolled my eyes. "Now Joshua is a different story."
"What do you mean? Is he mean to you?"
"No, not at all. He's fourteen years old, probably the sweetest teenager in the state. He's got leukemia." I sighed.
"Oh, that's got to be hard."
"It is." I admitted. "No one seems to understand it that well, but for a father, it's... it's heartbreaking, really."
"Yeah, I bet... I can't even begin to imagine how I'd feel if anything happened to Julia or to any of my children, for that matter..."
"My only daughter's called Jamie. She's six. She looks just like her mother, and sometimes I can't even look at her because of it."
Had I just said that out loud?
Sophia seemed to understand, though. "And Mike?"
"Mike is, in a way, like Joshua. Sweet but shy. Just three years old."
"You seem to have a very nice set of kids."
"Yes, they are, I wouldn't trade them for anything." I sighed happily. "What about Julia here? Is she your first?"
"Oh, no, not at all." she smiled. "She's my fifth."
"Fifth!" I raised my eyebrows. "So, tell me about them."
"Okay, well, my first is called Paul. He's fifteen years old, thinks I'm just about the worst person in the world, cannot stay in a good mood for more than fifteen minutes straight..." Sophia rolled her eyes. "You know how it goes. But I really do love him, even if he thinks I'm some kind of awful curse."
I smiled sympathetically. I was lucky my sons were not like that, at least not most of the time. Ryan sometimes got in moods, but not too bad.
"Leah is twelve, she's in that age... you know, that age where she's still a child but in some ways an adult, and it's difficult. She's really artistic. Spends most of the time in classes, then when she gets home she locks herself up, puts on classical music and paints."
"Seems like a nice girl."
"She is. She's very bright, too."
"And Hope and Grace are my nine year old twins. Nice but, wrapped up in each other, you know?"
"Yeah."
"It's like having strangers in the house. And on top of all this, my husband's decided I'm not good enough for him... I'm sorry, here I am telling you my life story."
"I don't mind." I quickly assured her. "I've pretty much told you the basics of my life, too."
"I guess so." she smiled, her face lighting up. She was cute. The sort of woman I'd go for, if it wasn't for the fact that every time I start to fall in love with any woman, I feel like I'm betraying Julia and I step back.
"But you haven't told me what you go for, like for fun."
"I'm a musician." I explained. "I like to sing. I also like to draw. The ocean is one of my passions. So how about you?"
"I write. I'm about to have my first novel out, I'm really excited about that... but nervous."
"I know the feeling."
I know how it feels to be a father. I know how it feels to have a child who may very easily die. I know how it feels like to be a widower. I know how it feels like to be famous. I know how if feels to travel the world.
I know the feeling.