The next thing I did was call Ryan. After a whole day at the hospital, I figured he would be anxious for news about Josh, and I was right.
"Is he all right? Is Josh okay?" he quickly asked.
"He's..."
"He's alive, isn't he?"
"Yes, of course, but turns out that, well, that he has leukemia, Ryan."
"Leukemia?" Ryan gasped loudly. "Is this one of your sick jokes?"
"Unfortunately not, Ry." I sadly replied.
"What are we going to do?" He was talking to himself. "Can we go see him?"
"Well..." I thought about this for a second. "I think it may be better for Josh to rest for a while, but maybe tomorrow afternoon would be good..."
"Are you serious?" Ryan didn't seem to believe me. "You're asking me to stay home while my brother is, like, practically dying in the hospital?"
"I'm trying to do what's best for Josh at the moment, and he's exhausted. He's been having tests all day and hardly had anything to eat." I crossly replied.
"And I've been pacing the house all day wondering what the hell is happening to Josh and trying to get to little kids in control, cause they are like, off the walls. But no, you only care about Josh, that's all that's important, isn't it? You never worry so much about me when I get sick!"
"That's cause you've never been this bad, Ryan. I mean, far as I know, you've never had cancer." I quietly reminded him. "Ryan, this isn't easy for anyone, okay?"
"I know that." he stubbornly answered. "But you could have thought and called earlier, you know? I'm sure you spent most of the day in waiting rooms, didn't you?"
"Yes." I admitted. "But you have to understand that it's really difficult to deal with this things, you know? It's not like you have a nice little agenda and plan your day ahead, and see exactly what you have to do cause you're worried sick and really can't think of anything more than to fix the current problem. And being almost an adult, I thought you'd understand that."
"Yeah." Ryan said. "I understand, I've just had a hard day, you know? I sent off the Jamie to school, then sat around wondering whether I should call, then picked up Jamie, was dealing with Mike all day cause he's gone WILD, I mean absolutely wild. And it hasn't been really easy. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, it hasn't been easy on anyone." I forgave him. "Maybe you could come for a little while, after all." I added. "Maybe that's better for Josh, anyway."
"Yeah, maybe. We'll be there in about half an hour, okay?"
"All right, it's the fifth floor, room number 593, got that?"
"Yeah. See you in a few."
"Bye. I love you, Ryan."
Sometimes you need things to be taken away from you to realize just how much you need them. Having Josh the way he was made me realize how grateful I should be for my four amazing children, that they're so sweet and smart and intelligent. I tend to get stuck on the bad things, like, why am I stuck with four children without a wife to help me to get through every day? Why can't the kids help out more than they do? And the one that haunted me the most, every day for exactly three years and four months and a few days, why did Julia, my sweet wife, have to die while she was having Michael?
Was it really necessary for one sweet woman to leave the world, for a sweet little man to come into it?
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the kind reviews! Here's another chapter.
I'm open to any suggestions, if you have any ideas about the story.
I'm open to any suggestions, if you have any ideas about the story.
