Chapter Seven: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Lori and Kellie walked up the driveway and up to the front door as Alyssa opened the door with a depressing look on her face. Both girls immediately felt concerned as they walked in the house noticing how empty it felt. “Honey what’s wrong?” Lori asked as they walked into the kitchen.

Alyssa sighed. “He’s been gone an hour and I miss him already.” She stated leaning against one of the cabinets only to move away a second later remembering what happened there the night before.

“Did you cry at the airport?” Kellie asked.

“No, I was ok there. When I got home it hit me that he wouldn’t be here tonight or tomorrow night…”

Lori got a sympathetic look on her face and replied, “How come you were ok at the airport?”

Alyssa half smiled a little, “Learned a trick.”

Kellie and Lori both gave her a weird look and asked, “What trick?”

“Stay...busy the night before.” She paused laughing a little, “And don’t talk about the fact that you won’t see em for a while when you’re at the airport.” Alyssa replied.

Meanwhile…

Nick sat at the terminal in LAX waiting for their flight to be called up. All the guys steered clear of him seeing the pissed off expression when AJ had tried to cheer him up. He was sulking and he didn’t care how immature he was being.

Kristin plopped down next to him and nudged his shoulder getting no response. “Man if you miss her that much call her.”

Nick looked up at her and smiled a little, “No it’s not that it’s just…”

Kristin smiled a little, “Just what? You can tell me and you know those four won’t hear about it.”

He looked up smiling at her a little more. Kristin had always been cool like that. Ever since he was a teenager, if he had a problem and didn’t feel comfortable talking to the guys about it he could always come to her. Especially when the subject was about women. “Alright, I told Alyssa that I love her.”

“And did she say it back?”

“No, she kind of freaked out in a way.” He replied.

Kristin’s expression softened, “Seriously?”

“Well she has this fear of losing people that she loves, so she doesn’t say it. Even to her family it’s always ‘yeah me too’ or something like that when they say ‘I love you’ to her.”

Kristin thought a moment formulating a plan, “Do you want me to check in on her while you’re gone?”

He looked up meeting her concerned eyes, “Thought you were going to New York?”

She smiled, “Yeah but I’ll be back in LA tomorrow. If you want I could go stay with her until you get back.”

Nick smiled a little, “Thanks Kris I owe you one.”

“Nah just don’t annoy Kev too much and we’ll call it even.” She replied smiling at him.

The next day back in LA…

Alyssa stared blankly at the television bored out of her mind. She was tired. Tired of school, tired of practice, tired of everything. Except him. Lori walked in sitting Indian style on the floor seeing the television had been flipped to Cartoon Network as some old Looney Tunes episode came on.

“Hey Lissa it’s Looney Tunes you’re favorite.” Lori said trying to get a reaction out of her zombified best friend.

“Don’t call me that.” Alyssa said bluntly.

Lori looked at her a second and then asked, “Why?” No response. Lori reached out touching Alyssa’s shoulder making her look up. “Why?” She asked again.

Alyssa sighed, “Because that’s how Nick says my name when he and I…” She trailed off.

“Honey you really still care about him huh?” Lori asked. Alyssa rolled her eyes and moved to sit perpendicular to Lori on the floor putting her head in her hands mumbling something. “Wait say that again I couldn’t understand you.”

With her head still covered she stated loudly, “I think I’m still in love with him.”

Lori sat there shocked a second, “Alyssa look at me.”

Alyssa looked up her eyes bloodshot from staring too long at the television. “What?” She asked.

“Are you saying that you love him?”

Alyssa looked at Lori. “No...”She paused sarcastically, “Of course I am dork!”

“Honey you need to tell him.”

Alyssa’s eyes began to tear up a bit as she spoke, “I can’t, I can’t tell him. If I do I’ll lose him.”

Lori pulled her friend into a hug, “You aren’t going to lose him. He loves you.”

“So did Collin.”

Lori rolled her eyes, “You were never meant to be with him. You dated Collin to get your mind off of Nick remember.”

“I still fell for him.”

“Yeah honey I know but you can’t tell me that all the time you were with Collin that you weren’t thinking about Nick.”

Alyssa got a guilty look on her face, “I couldn’t help that.”

“But maybe you didn’t love Collin as much as you think. Maybe it was just you projecting your feelings for Nick onto him because Nick was too blind to see how perfect you are together.” Lori explained.

Alyssa’s head shot up, “I have an idea.”

“What?” Lori asked as Alyssa got up grabbing the phone dialing an all too familiar number.

When the other person picked up the phone Alyssa stated, “Hey Clark, it’s Ali. I need a huge favor.”

That night…

Nick trudged into the hotel seeing the sun shining brightly in his room. “Fucking 22 hour flight.” He walked over closing the blinds it was night to him it should be dark not so ungodly bright. He flopped on to the bed pulling the phone from the night stand to his right. Dialing home he hesitated, maybe she was sleeping, maybe she was out. He decided to call and leave a message but was startled to hear someone pick up the phone, a male voice. A pang of jealousy shot through him before he spoke, “Is Alyssa there?”

“Yeah hang on a minute” The voice stated handing Alyssa the phone.

“Hello?”

“What the hell is going on? I leave for a day...”

Alyssa interrupted him, “Nick calm down, it’s just Clark.”

He sighed already calming down, “Damn I didn’t recognize his voice.”

She laughed, “You weren’t meant to, we didn’t recognize the number on the caller id so Clark decided to answer it in case it was a stalker or something you know?” Alyssa explained.

“Oh, so who is all over there?” He asked hearing voices in the background.

“Kel, Lori, Clark, and Kristin. Poor Clark isn’t handling the girl talk very well.”

Nick laughed recalling having been in situations like that, the odd man out...literally. “Tell him to listen he just might learn something about women.”

“What if I want to talk?” Alyssa asked giggling slightly as she walked into his office closing the door locking it.

“What would you say?”

She sighed relaxed into the over sized leather office chair. “Hmm maybe that I’m not as innocent as he’d like to think I am.”

He arched an eyebrow smiling just a bit. “Where are you?”

“Your office, I locked myself in here so I would be left alone.”

Nick sighed wishing he was there, “God I wish I was there.”

She licked her lips her mind forming an idea, “So why don’t you tell me?” She stated her voice low and seductive.

A few days later in China...

Nick sat on in the green room wishing this interview would get over with. He kept checking his sidekick every couple of seconds looking at the clock on it when he was nudged by Kevin. “What?” He said lowly looking up.

“He asked you a question.” Kevin stated sternly wondering where Nick’s mind was lately.

“Oh sorry can you repeat that?” He said as politely as he could.

“So what’s going on with your love life?”

He sighed, damn was the media ever going to stop? “Nothing really, I’m just enjoying being single right now, and focusing on the group and hanging out with my friends.” He lied. He wanted to just jump up and scream out that he was in love that he didn’t care who knew. But that wasn’t an option at the moment especially until he gets an answer out of Alyssa.

After the interview the guys were getting ready for the show. Nick slipped off his shirt trying to get changed. “Damn boy who tore you up?” Howie asked.

“What?” He asked.

All the other guys looked at him noticing the same bite mark on the back of his neck, scratches on his back. It was healing still even after a few days they still showed, just beginning to fade...clear evidence of rough sex. “You have scratches and a bite mark on your back.”

Nick got a worried look on his face, ‘Shit’ he thought. He knew that night that she was going to leave marks but did he care, hell no. It felt too good to complain, that and he’d left some pretty impressive marks on her himself.

“Well are you going to explain this or are we just going to have to assume that you hooked up with a dominatrix?” AJ asked laughing a little.

Nick laughed, if they only knew he told himself, “The scratches are from me going over board with a back scratcher.”

“And the bite mark?”

“Alyssa’s fault.” The statement flew from his mouth before he could stop it.

“Well, well, well I think you’re not telling us something.” Brian asked a little surprised.

Nick rolled his eyes now having finished getting ready, “It’s totally not like that.” He lied again, he hated doing that. The guys all now had amused looks on their faces as they waited for an explanation. “I stole the remote from her and ended up wrestling for it on the floor.” Yeah right, wrestling for the remote he wanted to laugh. Although wrestling wasn’t too far off from what they were doing.

“That doesn’t explain how it got on the back of your neck.” Kevin shot back

“Alright, she pinned me ok. And when I wouldn’t give up she bit me because I made the mistake of telling her once that it drives me crazy.”

“Man if I were you I would have had her right there.” AJ stated confidently.

Nick glared at him a little, “Well we aren’t like that, it’s kind of weird you know. We’re close friends but we don’t act like that, we tease the hell out of each other though.” ‘In more ways than one.’ He thought smiling to himself.

“Tease each other?”

He had to laugh, “Verbally, and well I can’t say that I don’t like seeing her walk around in her underwear.”

“She walks around in her underwear?!”

He laughed harder, “Only when she’s getting changed or just done in the shower. Which reminds me of when she first moved in.”

“Why?” Brian asked completely entertained by this story.

“Because it’s her most embarrassing moment.”

Kevin rolled his eyes, “And that would be what exactly.”

“I caught her getting out of the shower...without a towel on.”

“Damn that must have been hot.”

Nick sat down, “I was half awake and the door wasn’t locked. After she got a towel on which was pretty quick too, she screamed at me.”

“Well I would have too.” Leighanne said finally speaking up sitting comfortably across the room holding Baylee.

“You stared at her.”

Nick rolled his eyes at them, “I’m a guy, I’m half awake and I walk into my bathroom and see that...” He paused immediately picturing it clearly in his mind. “Of course I’m going to stare. She didn’t talk to me for three days though, completely avoided me and when she and I were even around each other she was fully clothed, long sleeves and everything.”

“Damn that’s pretty funny.” Kevin said as his and Nick’s cell phone went off at the same time.

Kevin smiled into the phone walking out of the room obviously talking to Kristin as Nick answered his. “Hello?”

“Hey, I have the best news!” Alyssa nearly shouted into the phone.

He laughed seeing the rest of the guys getting up and leaving the room to go stretch before the show. After they left he replied, “Would this news include me?” He knew he shouldn’t hope for an answer yet but hell he didn’t care.

“Yes.” She stated knowing where he was trying to get this to go, knowing he’d be floored with an answer he wouldn’t quite expect.

He smiled unconsciously licking his lips, “And?”

“And well, I have a surprise for you when you come home, and you should be getting something from me very soon.”

“What is it?”

She sighed, “A video tape...”

“Of?”

“Me...” She paused a second, “And the rest of the team.”

“What?”

“I tivoed the championship game you weirdo, I sent Aaron to give it to you the copy I made since you don’t exactly have an address there.”

“Oh, damn I was thinking a different type of tape here.” He stated shifting in his seat.

She laughed a little, “No also at the end of the game tape is stuff that Kristin taped while I was doing normal stuff.”

“Like?”

“Going to class, cooking, the girls locker room...” She trailed off.

“The girls locker room?”

“Yeah we’re all covered....mostly.”

He had to laugh, “So you’re sending me my own personal glory hole?”

She cracked up at his reference. “Sort of at least we don’t have the scary gym teacher.”

“That’d be gross. By the way we almost got caught.” He stated.

She gasped, “What do you mean by that?”

“The guys saw my back and my neck.” Nick said as she giggled. “Why the hell are you giggling?”

She regained her composure and replied. “It’s just funny, how’d you get out of it?”

“Told them that the bite mark was from us wrestling for the remote, and the scratches were from a back scratcher.”

Alyssa cracked up, “Wrestling huh? Anyways you left worse marks on me. I have bite marks everywhere not to mention that I practically had two handprints on me one on each hip from the death grip you had on my hips.”

“That’s your fault for looking at me like that. Besides you didn’t complain.”

She thought a moment, “Well it’s not my fault you have a thing for mirrors. Anyways…is it bad that I like it when were that way with each other?”

He knew what she was saying but had to make her say it anyways, “What way?”

“Being rough with each other, biting, scratching.”

“So are you saying you like it rough?” He asked smiling to himself.

She blushed, “...Yeah...”

“So do I. I mean don’t get me wrong slow is good with us but yeah I like it too. Also its pretty fucking hot seeing you like that, it’s almost as if you’re a different person.”

She sat there a little shocked at the conversation she was having, “I’m glad you like it.”

“I do. Anyways how was the tournament?”

“Went to finals...”

“Did you win?”

She laughed, “You’ll have to watch the tape and see. Anyways I got two new tattoos.”

“You did huh?” He asked.

“Yeah. I’m pretty fucking proud of them.”

He laughed a little. “Where are they?”

“One’s on my inner left wrist, and...”

“And the other?”

She smiled into the phone, “You’ll just have to find the other one.”

A week later....

Alyssa flopped down on the floor of living room marveling what they’d done over the past week and a half. “Clark I really have to hand it to you.”

Clark smiled at his little sister, “It was your idea I just conceptualized it.” He stated matter-of-factly.

Alyssa smiled, “Nick and I both picked out the colors when I first moved in, just never got around to actually doing it.”

“Well it looks fucking amazing, he’s going to love it.” Lori said sitting down next to Clark on the couch.

“So when does he come back?” Clark asked.

Alyssa sighed still looking around the room, “Tommorrow, thank God.”

Lori smirked at her comment. “Why thank God?” Clark asked.

Alyssa quickly responded, “Because I can kick you jack asses out of here and just hang with my best friend.”

“Hey!” Lori exclaimed trying to look offended.

Alyssa laughed at her, “What he is my best friend Lorelei.”

“Oh God don’t say that name.” Lori stated making a gagging noise at the sound of her full name.

Kristin walked in the room laughing at the conversation. “You guys are nuts I swear.” She stated smiling.

Alyssa laughed at her, “Well at least Kevin will be back tomorrow.”

Kristin smiled, “Yeah. It’s funny I have never gotten used to him being away after all these years.”

“Yeah it’s the same with me, at least when he was on his solo tour I could go with him and hang out and actually get paid for it. But when I was in high school it was an email or a phone call once a month.”

“Didn’t he call like every day though?” Lori asked.

“Yeah after I nearly...” Alyssa trailed off knowing they knew what she meant.

Late that night…

“Hello?” Alyssa said picking up the phone after the third ring, a little out of breath from running up the stairs. The giant bruise on her hamstring now completely faded but still hurt when she tried to run.

“Where you lost?” He asked smiling through the phone.

She smiled at the sound of his voice, “No had to run up the fucking stairs and my leg still hurts even though the bruise faded.”

He cringed remembering seeing it on the video tape he got from her. “Yeah I saw that in the video.”

“Nasty huh?”

“Yeah, but I’m so happy you guys won.”

Alyssa sighed, “Damn lucky too, if Kellie hadn’t made that shot… Anyways where are you?”

“On the plane.”

“What?” Alyssa asked.

“On the plane back home it’s Wednesday in Italy so we’re already on our way home. It should be about 6 AM in LA when we land.”

“Yeah Kris and I are going to be there.”

“I’m glad you two are becoming close.” He said chuckling a little.

Alyssa laughed with him, “She’s totally cool, what’s really weird is she says I’m exactly like Kevin.”

Nick thought a moment realizing how right Kristin was, “Holy shit you are.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah and come to think of it it’s kind of disturbing considering…” He trailed off cringing for a second.

Alyssa laughed, “Well obviously that’s probably why you and Kevin clashed for so many years.”

“And exactly why is that?”

She smiled, “Because you knew that you two could get along and just didn’t want to admit that someone older than you could be cool.”

He laughed, “Damn never thought about it that way. Anyways get some sleep I’m going to try to sleep on the plane so I won’t be too jet lagged when I see you.”

“And why may I ask is that?”

He sighed looking to his right seeing Brian and Howie out cold and Kevin reading across the aisle. He lowered his voice a little, “Because I’m not going to want to sleep when I see you.”

She unconsciously shivered from that statement, “Well you better have extra energy on reserve then because I’m going to wear your ass out.”

He chuckled a little, “Damn, anyways I love you.”

She smiled, “I know, get some sleep ok?”

“Alright bye Lissa.” He said as they hung up. He leaned his head back against the head rest thinking a moment before turning towards the window to at least try to get some sleep.

The next morning…

Nick and Kevin walked outside the bright California sun already showing in the early hour. Nick smiled seeing Alyssa leaning against her car talking with Kristin both of them smiling and laughing. His eyes roamed up her bare legs past her jean skirt and black camisole tank top as she pulled part of her hair behind her ear. Alyssa felt eyes on her and turned her head seeing Nick and Kevin walking towards them. Her smile got bigger and brighter as he came to stand in front of her dropping his bags and pulling her into a hug. “I missed you.” He whispered.

Kevin laughed a little pulling his wife into a hug kissing her forehead, “Let’s go home.” She replied to his gesture. They broke away and Kristin gave Alyssa a quick hug promising she’d call later in the week as they walked away.

Alyssa turned her attention back to Nick noticing that the blonde in his hair had grown back, “Come on let’s get out of here.” She said popping the trunk as they put his two bags in the trunk. She got in the car as he walked around sliding into the passenger’s seat. She smiled at him and drove off. On the way she moved one hand from the steering wheel to the parking brake resting it there. Nick took the opportunity and took her hand in his lacing their fingers. Alyssa shot him a quick glance smiling at him only to arrive home soon after. Nick sighed as they walked into the house from the garage leaving his bags at the door. “So do you want to unpack, then eat, eat then unpack, unpack while we eat, or what?” She asked as he just stared at her.

He closed the distance between them his arms slipping around her waist pulling her close. He leaned down his tongue tracing and imaginary line between her shoulder and right behind her ear. She shivered from the touch and pulled him into the kitchen pulling away from him only to pull her shirt over her head. He smirked at her and pulled off his own shirt and pulled her to him kissing her taking the time to explore her mouth. She pulled away breathlessly and reached for his jeans undoing the button and the zipper then sliding her hand underneath his boxers as he moaned pulling her down on to the floor.

Before they knew it they collapsed on the cool tile lying next to each other completely out of breath. He laughed a little bit and she gave him a strange look as if to say ‘what the hell?’ He read her expression answering her, “We barely made it in the house.”

She looked around noticing they were in the kitchen and laughed sitting up pulling on his shirt that was lying on the counter just above them. “Couldn’t help it.”

He stood pulling on his jeans having no clue where she threw his boxers. She sat and stared at him a moment before he motioned for her to stand helping her up. He calmly pulled her to him his jaw resting against her forehead. He smiled at feeling her arms around his waist. “I love you Lissa.”

She looked up at him and smiled silently just staring at him then pulled away. He looked at her strangely as she went to the laundry room changing into a pair of basketball shorts and a light blue spaghetti strap tank top. Alyssa walked back handing him his shirt letting him slip it on; then taking his hand in hers and led him up the stairs and stopped at her door. She turned to him and began, “I was going to show you the rest of the house first, but that can wait until later…” She paused trying to read his expression. “Close your eyes.” She said softly.

“What?” He asked completely confused.

“Do you trust me?” She asked.

He sighed, “Yes.”

She smiled, “Then close ‘em and don’t open them or peek out or anything until I say so ok?”

Nick did as he was told completely amused and still slightly confused by the whole situation. Alyssa waved her hand in front of his face before smiling opening her door walking backwards leading him into the middle of the room and stopping before going to shut the door behind them. Alyssa stood behind him and said, “Ok open ‘em.”

He opened his eyes adjusting to the room seeing the dark blue walls, the couches lining two of the walls with tons of pillows everywhere. He turned his eyes coming to rest on the bed that had moved. He examined every inch seeing candles in every corner, a bookcase, a stereo, he then moved again seeing the bed and how it had been moved back to where up to the headboard had been built into the wall, and then noticed that there was a small over hang that behind it had a lamp that gave it an almost ethereal glow. Nick turned to see Alyssa staring at him reading his reaction. She knew he’d love this, as much if not more than what she had to tell him.

He watched as she walked up slowly to him smiling a little, “You like it?”

He looked around a little more noticing that the night stands were now a darker stained wood than before he left. “Hell yeah I like it.”

“Good because I hope you’re ready for this.”

He looked down at her trying to get a read on what she was saying, “Ready for what?” He asked tentatively.

Alyssa smiled at him, “Us…me...”

A glimmer of recognition and hope flashed across his face as he looked at her. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

She smiled even larger, “I’ve decided that I’m insane.”

“Ok…why?” He said hoping she would get to the point and fast as he moved to sit on the nearest couch pulling her with him.

“Because the entire time you were gone, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“I know what you mean.” He said trying to pull her into a kiss he didn’t need to hear anymore he knew what she was trying to say.

Alyssa put a hand on his chest feeling his heart race and smiled, “I’m not finished.” Nick backed away motioning for her to continue. Alyssa smiled again and pulled his hand in hers playing with his fingers. Looking down she began, “I thought a lot about you, and me while you were gone and while I’m unsure of how I feel about you I know that I care about you…” She paused looking at him hanging on her every word. “And it’s because I care that I think…” She paused again, “I know that we have something here that’s undeniable.”

He waited a moment seeing her trying to gather her thoughts and decided to ask, “So what do you think we should do?”

She looked up at him again seeing him concerned all the love and hope in his eyes and grinned, “I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I think we should give it a shot.”

He smiled, “Give what a shot?” He knew what she was saying he wanted to make sure she did too.

She rolled her eyes, “Us, me and you, the whole relationship thing, that’s what.” His smile grew larger as he pulled her into a kiss pulling away a minute later. “But…”

His face fell releasing her from his grasp as she stood up, “I should have known there was a ‘but’ in there somewhere.” He looked at her seeing her looking back at him. “Go on…” He stated not entirely sure he wanted to hear the rest of this.

Alyssa sighed she knew this was going to be the hard part. “I don’t want the guys to know.”

“What?!?!” He exclaimed. “Why not?”

Alyssa tried to keep her cool not wanting to fight but would if she had to. “Because if they find out that we’re together, they’ll start asking questions that I’m not ready to answer.”

“What do you mean you aren’t ready to answer? For Christ's sake I love you and you’re telling me we can’t tell anyone? What about Lori, and Kellie they get to know but my friends, my family doesn’t?!” He was angry, disappointed maybe, couldn’t she see that he wanted to tell everyone? She saw the anger flash in his eyes knowing she’d caused it.

“My family doesn’t know either Nickolas. I’m not ready to answer questions that you know they’ll ask, especially from my family, the guys, the fans… I’ve seen what the fans do when you have a girlfriend and I’m sorry I don’t want that. You have no idea how hard it is for me to tell you I want to be with you and not want to tell people ok?”

Nick put his head in his hands trying to calm himself down before he said something he regretted. She watched him fully aware that he was pissed off but that’s all she could offer him at the moment. He stood a frustrated look on his face as he went to leave the room. He needed to get out needed to calm down. Alyssa followed him down the stairs but he stopped her on the last step. “I’m gonna go clear my head for awhile ok?”

“You’re leaving?” She asked not even attempting to hide the disappointment in her voice. She knew he wouldn’t like not being able to tell the guys but she felt that it had to be that way at least until she was ready to tell him how she really felt and at the present moment she wasn’t.

He turned seeing her look at him shocked at the blank expression on his face. “I just need to think I’ll be back in a little while.” He stated numbly giving her a kiss on the cheek grabbing his keys and walking out to his car.

Alyssa sank down on the steps putting her head in her hands. This whole situation had definitely not gone the way she’d hoped it would.