[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
"Kevin and Howie are going out to get us all something to eat. AJ and Aaron just went down to the machine to get a lot of sodas," Natalie announced softly as she appeared in the private waiting room set aside for Brian and his family as Baylee underwent surgery. His parents had also stepped out for a breath of fresh air, not that Natalie blamed them. Each had kissed her cheeks and thanked her for being here, but she was more concerned about watching Brian. Tentatively seating herself on the couch beside him, she reached to gently rub his shoulders. It had been hours since Baylee was whisked away to surgery, Alana promising that everything would be fine. The boy had been brave, gripping Alana's hand as he kissed his father goodbye, asking for a large present when he awoke. That had caused the group to laugh, though they had bought several large presents to comply. Now, they just waited.

"Okay," Brian murmured, idly flipping the pages of the hospital Bible. The familiar words of comfort seemed almost bland now, so he continued to glance through the passages, hoping for something-anything-that would put his mind and heart at ease. Setting the Bible down on the table, he lowered his head into his hands, furiously pressing his fingers against his eyes. "Nat…"

"What?" she questioned softly, her hand drifting to his back for a supportive rub. She wasn't exactly sure what he wanted, but knew she would do anything within her power to provide it. Concentrating on Brian kept her mind at ease about Baylee lying underneath a knife. The very thought made her sick inside. So she had to remind herself just as quickly that Alana was inside. Nothing would happen to him.

Brian didn't know. Reaching blindly for her hand, he grasped it tightly, suddenly needing her strength. "Is this how it felt for everyone when I was in there? …All this worrying and praying and crying? Knowing that I would be okay, but fighting that fear that something would go wrong?" he whispered.

"Kind of…" Natalie agreed softly, covering his hand with both of hers. She brought them to her lips for several sweet, reassuring kisses. She had been a mess when Brian was in surgery, only she hadn't be allowed to express such. Leighanne had been the one to play lead that day. The grieving lover. Though she had left as soon as Brian was in recovery, though no one had ever dared to tell him that. "Worse for others, I suppose."

"You were there…" Brian trailed in a murmur. He remembered all too well waking up to find Natalie at his bedside, her caramel eyes filled with tears of concern. Even then he had known… Feeling the couch sink slightly, he glanced to see Nick sitting on the other side of him. "God, why haven't they given us an update--"

"Because you just called back there about ten times," Nick murmured softly.

"And your point is?" Brian questioned, wincing when he realized how loud he was. "God, I'm sorry, Nick…"

"It's okay," Natalie murmured, kissing his fingers again before holding his hand in her lap. She could understand his tenseness, his need to know every detail. "Alana promised she'd let us know how things were going."

"Hell, maybe I should just get out of here. Then she'll come to talk to you…" Nick trailed offhandedly, reaching to rub the back of his neck as he slouched upon the couch. Since the overwhelmingly popular concert, Alana had all but sent a restraining order banning him from her presence. She had avoided all of his phone calls and conveniently avoided her own home. She kept her conversations civil and cool within Baylee's hospital room. And all he had said was that he loved her…

"Nick," Natalie sighed, shaking her head. Releasing Brian's hand, she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek before getting to her feet. "I'll go see if I can--"

"No, that's okay, wouldn't want her to go screaming from the hospital," Nick muttered, standing as well only to guide Natalie back to the couch. Then, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his wrinkled jeans, Nick exhaled a long, pained breath. "I'm going to go take a walk, alright?"

Brian nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat as he prepared to stand. "Do you want some company--"

"Nah, you should stay here, B," Nick answered offhandedly. "Call me when you know about Bay."

Natalie watched Nick saunter out of the waiting room, turning to look at Brian when they were alone. "I worry about him, Bumpkin…"

"Why?" Brian questioned with a sigh as he reached to snuggle close to Natalie, not wanting her to leave.

Gratefully wrapping her arms around him, Natalie released a soft sigh when he rested his head on her chest. Closing her eyes, she gently smoothed her fingers through his hair. "Because he's so… I don't know. It's like he wears his heart on his sleeve, you know? And he's so damn cocky about it, like nothing can hurt him. I'm not saying Alana would do it, but I'm just afraid that one day his heart's going to get broken into a million pieces…"

"Then we'll be there to pick up the pieces--"

"Like always… He's like our adopted son or something, Bumpkin… Pretty soon he'll be asking me to change his pants-Well, never mind, he already did that once…"

Brian released a strained chuckle, tightening his arms around her. "God, I don't want to know."

"You, the man who grilled me for two hours about the details of my date with Howie, don't want to know?" Natalie questioned softly, gently kneading the tight spot at the back of his neck. Kissing the top of his head, she smiled slightly. "I don't believe it…"

"That's different. You were out with Howie. Mr. Latin Lover. And I didn't want him stealing you away," Brian mumbled with a forlorn pout.

"You don't think Nick could have stolen me away?" Natalie questioned with a small smile, almost not believing they were having such a conversation at such a trying time.

"We had a unspoken rule about you."

"An unspoken rule? …What kind of rule?"

"He didn't date you and I didn't kill him."

"Just who else did you have this rule with?" Natalie inquired softly.

"Everyone but Howie and Fabio," Brian snorted.

"Why not Howie?" Natalie pressed, not bothering to correct him.

"'Cause the asshole escaped my clutches--"

"Bumpkin…" Natalie sighed, kissing the top of his head once again. "At least now I know why all my flirting with AJ and Kevin never led anywhere…"

"Brian?" Alana's voice inquired with much hesitation as she pushed the door to the waiting room open. She immediately pulled the surgical skullcap from her head, allowing her long strawberry curls to fall in waves to the small of her back. She looked overly weary as she stopped halfway to pull the blue paper covers from her shoes, which were means of sanitation. "Can I come in and talk to you?"

Immediately pulling away from Natalie, Brian stumbled to his feet, dragging one hand through his hair quickly. "Is he out? He okay? When can I see him--"

Seeming to anticipate Brian's unsteady gait, Alana took a step back in time to catch him as he stumbled. She hurriedly helped him to his feet, but his arms wrapped tightly around her small frame. Feeling crushed, she said nothing as she patted him gingerly on the back. "He's just fine. The surgeon just sewed the patch into his heart where the hole was and got it beating again. He's just getting closed up and he'll be transported to Recovery till he wakes up and then he'll be in the Pediatric ICU. I'd say give him another two hours and you'll see your little boy looking twenty times better than when he came in here."

"Thank God," Brian breathed, his words drowned out by the return of his parents and friends, and somehow in the shuffle he was transferred to the chair in the corner. Tears of joy flowing freely down his cheeks, he was barely aware of the murmur of chatter in the room.

"The surgeon's going to come out and talk to you when he's done, but I told him I'd come out and at least let you know what's going on," Alana explained as Natalie hurriedly rushed out all the information to the variety of people within the room. Not seeing Nick, Alana was relieved as she bent down to Brian for a moment, whispering everything would be okay. Then, standing, she moved toward the exit, aching to get the sweaty scrubs off her body. Perhaps soak in a long hot shower and then go out for a beer. Everything would be returning to normal now. Baylee would be in the PICU, so her care would no longer be needed. She would go back to have the regular load of patients on her floor. Then Baylee would be discharged and she would be alone once more.

"Alana?" Natalie called softly, extricating herself from Kevin's hug before crossing the room. Pulling her eyes from the small, telltale splatter of blood on the front of the woman's scrubs, she took a deep breath. "Care to take a walk with me?"

"Do you mind if I…" Alana's initial decline came to an uncomfortable silence as Natalie and Brian proceeded to follow her anyway. Glancing down at the surgical blue scrubs, she immediately cursed herself for not cleaning up before seeing the family. Haphazardly tugging the top away from her body, revealing a simple gray racer-back tank top, she stuffed the top into the nearest laundry bin for personnel. She had hoped they would be deterred, but they waited patiently and then started to walk with her once more. Fighting a sigh, Alana tugged haphazardly at her long curls, feeling claustrophobic with having each on either side of her. This surgery may have gone quite well for Baylee, but had brought forth a whole rush of scarred emotions back into Alana.

"Why have you been avoiding Nicky?" Natalie questioned immediately. Not bothering to beat around the bush. She was worried about Brian's best friend, and knew that, despite Alana's attempts to deny it, she had feelings for the man.

"God," Alana groaned in shock as she tripped in her footing at Natalie's blatant question. Crashing against the soda machine, she welcomed the coolness before pushing away. Snorting away her embarrassment, she reached into a pocket for a dollar. She couldn't stand the smell of smoke, so she decided that caffeine would be in her best interest to calm her shattered nerves. "Natalie, today isn't--"

"He loves you, Alana. He's been so damn miserable since you hauled ass after the concert--"

"Natalie," Alana stressed weakly. "Please, don't--"

"At least go talk to him?" Natalie requested softly, turning her friend towards the elevator. "Even if you just tell him you want nothing to do with him, that things would never work out. He needs to know."

"He's gone to look at babies in the nursery," Brian explained. Having known Nick for so long, he knew that the younger man would have migrated there during his walk. He always did when visiting a hospital.

"The Colton in my tattoo… That's the name of my son," Alana confessed before she had any means or conscious to stop herself. Her entire body went rigid at the mere mention of the name, keeping Natalie from pushing her entirely into the elevator. Bracing herself against the wall, Alana released a horrible shudder, her entire body quaking with pain.

"Your son?" Natalie repeated softly, letting her hands fall gently to Alana's back. "What… What happened to him?"

"He's dead," Alana whispered, her voice barely rising so Brian or Natalie could hear. The pain laced in her voice was enough and confronting the facts caused tears to rise once more. It was almost as if she walked around in a haze, never acknowledging the presence that Colton still had in her life. It was disturbing to say the least, but it was how she functioned. Otherwise, she would have killed herself long ago.

"God… I'm so sorry," Brian breathed, unable to imagine having to go through losing a child. Though he had come close, he knew his heartache would pale in comparison. Gently, he pulled Alana away from the wall and into a hug, half expecting her to shove him away. Instead, he felt her shudder, heard a soft, strangled sob against his shoulder as she began to cry.

"I was a Pediatric Nurse for Christ-sakes and I couldn't even… He just…" Alana voice broke against several hard sobs. Her entire body quaked with emotion as her hands balled into fists, clutching Brian's t-shirt. She felt lightheaded as memories rushed through her like a hurricane, sweeping her backward into thoughts she had so longed to just forget. "God, it was my fault…"

"No it wasn't," Brian attempted to soothe gently, holding her tight as Natalie hugged her from behind. "It wasn't anyone's fault, Alana…"

"Don't," Alana whispered, taking a deep breath to hold within her lungs, trying to calm her wrecked nerves. She still trembled significantly as she released Brian's shirt, pulling away from the couple. Moving back to the soda machine, she hurriedly stuffed her money inside, pounding on the Pepsi button when it wouldn't release.

Natalie cast a worried glance at Brian. "Alana--"

"He… He would have turned three this year… A few days before I first met Baylee… Colton Mark Moore… God, he was the cutest thing you would have ever seen. Had the courage of a lion… So happy and playful from the minute he was born. He'd just lay in bed with me babbling till I fell asleep, then he'd drift off… These beautiful strawberry blonde curls and dark brown eyes… These little freckles sprinkled across his nose… Always wanted to be a cowboy… Had his own horse and everything… And, I just--" Alana slammed a hard fist into the center of the soda machine when the Pepsi wouldn't release, strangling another sob in her throat. The sudden reflection of physical pain seemed to yank her from her trance. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," Natalie promised softly, startled when a Pepsi dropped from the machine. Quickly brushing tears from her eyes, she took a deep breath and glanced back at the elevator. "Go talk to Nick about this, okay? He'll… He needs to know…"

"No," Alana murmured, ducking down to take the Pepsi from the machine. Holding the ice cold can to her now bruising knuckles, she sniffled heavily. So embarrassed she couldn't even manage to make eye contact with Brian and Natalie. "No one knows here. Not a single person in this entire hospital knows and I want to keep it that way. Where I worked before… I couldn't stand… Don't tell him."

"I'm not going to tell him. You are," Natalie insisted gently, hugging herself. "He needs to understand why you're pushing him away, Alana--"

"I'm not doing anything," Alana insisted as she shook her knuckles in attempt to ward off the pain. Glancing down at the slightly swollen hand, she wondered if she needed to stop off at the Emergency Room for her stupidity. Not like it mattered. She knew she wasn't going upstairs. "I'm glad that Baylee is going to be okay and I wish you all the best of luck."

"You're just going to walk away, then?" Natalie questioned, resisting the urge to stamp her foot in irritation. "You'll climb the side of a mountain and all that death-defying bullshit, but you won't explain to the man who loves you why you're pushing him away?"

"Natalie, don't," Brian murmured as Alana started to walk toward the Emergency Department.

"Why not?" Natalie demanded with a huff. "Fine. I'm going upstairs to talk to Nicky--"

"No, you're not," Brian insisted, grabbing her by the waist and leading her back toward the private waiting room. As much as his heart pained for Nick, he understood Alana's reservations about telling him. She had barely been able to say that her son had passed, so explaining to Nick would be torture. She wasn't ready for that. "This is between Alana and Nick. You have no say in what he knows and what he doesn't know about Alana. She obviously wants that kept private and that's the way it's going to stay. Okay?"

"Damnit, Bumpkin, if it was you and me, wouldn't you want to know?"

"Of course I would want to know. But I would want you to tell me. When you're ready."

"But that's the point, she's not going to tell him. She's just going to walk away, and Nicky'll be hanging around us like a sad lost puppy and it's going to be so damn hard--"

"Don't put her out to pasture so fast, Nat. She might actually turn around and surprise you."

*~*~*

Releasing a slow, painful sigh, Nick shifted in the rocking chair of the hospital nursery. It had become a habit of his, to always stop at the nursery when he needed the unwavering attention of a newborn to listen to his problems. The hospital seemed to have no lack of newborns, though there was one in particular that always drew his attention. An abandoned little boy, whose mother had skipped out just hours after giving birth. Staring down at the infant in his arms, he was once again mesmerized by the large eyes gazing up at him with a wary interest. A fine smattering of wispy black hair graced the top of the baby's head, and when a tiny fist made contact with his chest he grunted in surprise. "Sorry… I was just thinking how great it'd be if I could come in here and just take you home with me one day…"

Usually, Nick was obliged to stand outside in the hallway, the window of glass separating him from the newly arrived bundles of joy. It was just procedure after the increased rate of kidnappings. He had understood as much, just watching the wonders of the world find their own miraculous marvels of life. But when the neonatal nurses had discovered that Nick was a close friend of Alana's, the doors had been opened. He had mentioned wanting to help in any way possible and the nurses had directed him to the back of the nursery where the abandoned children were kept. The hospital had a special drop-off place for unwanted infants. The parents could feel free to take the children to the Emergency Room to be left. No questions asked. It was even stated that Alana spent a good deal of her breaks in the back, nurturing the children. Nick decided it wasn't such a bad idea.

The baby released a soft whimper, tiny legs struggling in the hospital blanket. Automatically, Nick reached to adjust the blanket so his feet were free, smiling when he heard the pleased sigh. Tracing the bottom of splayed toes, he was once again amazed at the miracle that was a baby. His first time holding the small infant he had been so nervous about dropping him or holding him so tight, thinking only how fragile the child was. But now, it was almost second nature to him, easily shifting the baby so he was cradled on his thighs. Keeping one hand behind his neck, he did his usual check of hands and feet, adjusting the tiny bracelet wrapped around one ankle. Baby Doe. His heart lurched slightly at that, wondering if he could love the child anymore if it was Baby Carter instead. Immediately he entertained the notion of starting an adoption process, quickly shoving such hopeful dreams aside. "You'd need a good Mom, wouldn't you? I could love you to death, but you'd need that soft voice to soothe you at three in the morning… A soft chest to cuddle up to when you need to be reminded that there's someone who loves you…"

"Mother's aren't all that they're cracked up to be," a soft feminine voice suggested, causing the small infant to immediately tilt his head in that direction. He writhed within Nick's arms, suggesting that Alana had been the one nurse to visit him most often. She offered a small smile as the infant's hands reached out to her, though he was barely aware of his own movements. "We named him Zachary. Zach for short. Calling him 'Baby' all the time just wasn't too fair…"

"Zach… Hear that, buddy? That means you have to grow up and be big and strong. So you can live up to your name," Nick murmured, lifting the baby to quickly hug him close. Offering Alana a quick smile, he drew in a quick breath. "Is Bay--"

"Already out of surgery and transferred to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit already. His Daddy and Natalie are with him now. He's still sleepy, but he's going to be just fine," Alana promised with a soft nod, fussing with the ace bandage wrapped around her right hand. She had spent most of a few hours calming down in the Emergency Room after sending her hand into the soda machine. She had cut a few of her knuckles open, which required cleaning, and mildly sprained the wrist. By the time she had collected herself, the surgeon had found her to say that Baylee was asking for her. She stopped in to wish him well, quickly slipping out before Natalie could corner her again. She wanted to just leave the hospital, but she had to see Nick. For some reason…

"That's good. What happened to your hand?" Nick questioned softly as he stood, gently shifting Zachary so his head was resting on his shoulder. Curving his arm protectively around the small body, he made sure his hand was properly supporting Zachary's neck before stepping over to Alana. She had been crying, her eyes now red-rimmed and still clouded with despair. "Alana…"

"I'm an enormous klutz," Alana answered with a short shrug of her shoulders, postponing the eventual eye contact that Nick always demanded. Tugging at the hem of her white tank top, she knew this had been a complete mistake. Just like allowing Nick to make love with her in the park. Make love…

Nick let his thumb graze her cheek, holding back a sigh when she turned away. Longing to pull her into his arms and promise that he would try his best to rid her of any pain, he cleared his throat, kissing the top of Zachary's head. "You think you can hold him? He's getting restless, and I have to go ask Jen for his bottle so I can feed him--"

"No, actually, I just wanted to get--" Alana's futile attempt at discouraging the transfer of the child was meaningless as Nick shifted the boy into her arms. She accommodated his weight easily, making sure to cradle him close to her body. And, before she could object further, Nick was dashing out of the room. Exhaling a hard sigh, Alana moved to sit in the rocking chair. It was always hardest holding Zachary and the other little boys, because they reminded her so much of Colton. Sitting by the large picture window with the moonlight glimmering over their closely nestled bodies. He would lazily suck his thumb as he watched his mother for the longest time, cooing at her before drifting asleep. Even when he had become a toddler he still waited for her in the rocking chair by the picture window. Sometimes, Alana would just stare at the rocking chair for hours, waiting for Colton to come running. "Nick's a very stubborn guy, Zach… I guess that's something I need to learn about him…"

Zachary sighed softly as though agreeing, his small hand landing on Alana's chest as he gazed up at her. Large cobalt eyes that reminded Alana of Nick. Wrapping his fingers around the silver ring hanging by the small chain, tugging gently as his mouth worked on the fingers of his other hand.

"You always liked that, huh?" Alana murmured against the child's forehead, pressing a soft kiss against his skin. Staring down at the silver ring with a diamond centered, Colton Mark etched on one side of the diamond with his birthday on the other. "Colt gave that to me, y'know. My first mother's day ever. Of course, he was only two months old and had no clue that he and his Daddy had gone out and bought it. But, when we told him the story, he was so proud of that ring, Zach. Always playing with it."

Zachary's eyes widened slightly in understanding, his lips smacking against his fingers as he began to nuzzle her chest.

Pausing in the doorway, Nick felt his heart lurch as he listened to Alana's soft murmurs, straining to hear what she was saying to the infant. Zachary's gentle grunts throughout caused him to miss some words, but he got the gist of everything. With startling clarity, he sagged against the doorframe. Colton was her son. His Daddy bought the ring…

"I miss him a lot, Zach. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. That I don't wish things could have changed so he stayed with me. So they both stayed with me…"

"What happened?" Nick questioned softly.

"Nick," Alana yelped in shock, leaning forward as the little boy lurched in her arms. His hands immediately went out as if to catch himself, but Alana cradled him close. There was a slight whine to his whimper, but she reassured his safety quite quickly.

"I happened?" Nick inquired in confusion as he stepped into the room, gripping Zachary's bottle tightly.

"God no," Alana breathed as she shifted Zachary back into his bassinet. Making sure to swaddle him with the blanket, she immediately started for the door. She felt as if the room were closing in on her. Clawing subconsciously at her throat for a breath, she stepped back when Nick reached for her. God, this was a mess. An absolute mess.

"What, then?" Nick persisted gently, glancing helplessly towards the bassinet when Zachary began to whimper. Knowing that if he turned to get the baby Alana would leave, he reached out with one foot, gently rolling the bassinet close so he could scoop Zachary into his arms. Cooing softly, he stared at Alana as he offered the bottle to him. "Alana, please… Tell me…"

"They left me…" Alana whispered, fiddling with the fabric of the ace bandage. She couldn't stand to meet Nick's dark blue eyes, knowing she was melt into tears without any means of hesitation. It had been hard enough telling Brian and Natalie the story about her son. She absolutely detested allowing people into her life after the hardships. It was easier to keep to herself and help those that reached out to her; never asking for help in return. Letting all these people in was too dangerous.

"Left you? …Why?" Nick murmured, moving to settle in the rocking chair. When Alana shook her head, he sighed. Not wanting to push her too hard for fear of losing her forever, he cuddled Zachary close as he drank. Slowly rocking, he dipped his head to press a soft kiss against the boy's cheek.

"It doesn't matter why they left… They just did… And they're not coming back…" Alana answered softly, sinking into the nearby rocking chair when she noticed a nurse peeking in. Resting her aching wrist against her knee, she watched Nick soothe Zachary into a comfortable slumber as the bottle emptied. A small smile found its way to her beautiful face, but when Nick looked up, she sat straight. "I've always been left… My father left me when I was a toddler. My mother pretty much left me the day she found my stepfather and had the golden son… It's not so bad…"

"What do you do when someone wants to stay, though?" Nick murmured, easing Zachary onto his shoulder for a burp. Gently rubbing his back, he smiled slightly at the large belch, unable to resist turning his head for several soft kisses. "That's my boy…"

"No one has ever wanted to stay… Or at least I haven't let them…"

"I want to," Nick told her softly, his statement punctuated by another loud belch. "Good Lord, Son--I mean… Zach…"

"…You're great with kids," Alana told him after Zachary settled against him with a satisfied smile, his fingers finding their way back into his mouth. "Baylee and Zachary… You'll make a great father."

"I'd… I'd love to be Zach's father," Nick admitted softly against Zachary's cheek.

"I wish more people were like you. Then we wouldn't have to worry about abandoned or abused children…" Alana decided as she tilted her head, seeing Zachary fall into a peaceful sleep. Smiling softly, she gestured toward Nick's shoulder. "The angel's asleep."

"Guess that means I have to give him up," Nick sighed, finally catching her gaze.

"You can hold him while he sleeps--"

"I can't… I'll get too attached," Nick whispered brokenly, dropping his gaze to the fingers that had curled around the neckline of his t-shirt. God, he would give anything to be able to stay and hold Zachary all night. To feel the reassuring warmth of the small body cuddled so closely to him. To hear the soft, pleased sighs as he slept. To look a nurse in the eye and tell her that, yes, that was his son… He had never felt so needed before, not by anyone, until meeting Zachary. Glancing at Alana, he quickly looked away, ashamed when he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. Squeezing them tightly shut, he wondered if she was even slightly aware of how much he needed her.

"I think you already are," Alana commented softly as she watched Nick carefully unwind Zachary's fingers from the neck of his shirt. When the infant was lowered into the bassinet for a peaceful nap, Alana felt her heart lurch at the way Nick's shoulders rounded inward. He looked so lost as he gazed at the small infant, small beads of icy tears running a path down his anguished face. Exhaling a hard breath, Alana reached to wrap her arms around Nick from behind. Pressing her face into his upper back, she felt him shudder. "God, Nickalicious, it's okay."

"He deserves so much better," Nick nearly whined, his voice cracking slightly as another shudder shook him. "He should be in a home, Baby… Not in some hospital surrounded by babies that are going home… What'll happen to him if nobody ever takes him?"

"He does deserve something better," Alana agreed as she squeezed him in a reassuring manner, placing a soft kiss between his shoulder blades. "And I'm sure he's going to find it. You've got to have faith."

"Do you… Do you think I'd have a chance of adopting him?" Nick questioned, covering her hands with his so he could hold them tight.

"Nick…" Alana trailed in surprise as she moved around him, popping up underneath his arms. Gingerly, she cupped his face so she could study his smoldering blue eyes. She felt her heart swell when she realized he was serious, though it instantly turned to trepidation. "Adopt him? Are you sure? I mean, he's not a puppy or--"

"I love him, Alana… I can't just turn away not knowing what's going to happen to him… He needs me, just as much as I need him. I know I'm not the most perfect person in the world, but I can give him love--"

"I'm not saying to turn away from him. I'm saying to give this serious thought. This is a drastic change and you've got to be sure that you're doing it for the right reasons. It's not just enough to love someone--"

"Yes it is," Nick disagreed softly, looking towards the sleeping infant. Nodding to himself, he bit back another wave of tears. "Yes it is…"

"…Nick…" Alana whispered, dropping her hands from his face when she realized he was looking elsewhere. Stepping away from his arms, she just studied him with Zachary, knowing he was convinced. "Just think about it. That's all I'm asking."

"I will," Nick promised, pulling her into his arms. Kissing the top of her head, he squeezed her gently.