The shopping was difficult, too. Michelle had gone shopping before, but never for her own things. The things she owned were hand-me-downs from Carrie, and whenever she'd been shopping, it was to help her mother. She was supposed to look for all the things and climb on her mother's shoulder to get the things that were very far up, sometimes very heavy things, which she'd dropped more than once. Of course, she had been punished later. At the shop her mother would smile fakely and call a worker to pick it up, but then when Bertha had to pay for it, Michelle would have to work extra hard the following weeks to "pay back" the money.
With the Littrells it was nothing like that. Their first stop was at the toy shop, where they were going to pick out several new toys for Michelle.
Michelle could think of many things she wanted, but she didn't want to drop anything or to be thought of as greedy, so she kept her mouth shut and unhappily hovered around Leighanne.
"Would you like a big bear?" Leighanne asked, stroking her new daughter's short hair.
Michelle's face light up. "Yeah!" she said. "If it's not very expensive. I mean, I don't want to spend a lot of weeks paying you back."
Leighanne looked shocked. "Pay us back, why? You don't need to do that, honey. We want to buy you toys. With our own money."
"Really?" Michelle was astonished. She then took a look at the bear. She took it off the shelf and gave it a big hug. It was softer than Sammy's bear. She hugged it tightly, and it felt right- just the right size for her. "I love it, Leighanne, thanks!" she exclaimed happily.
In the end, they'd gone without Brian. Brian had called to say that Nick and him were having a very long conversation, and to go ahead and start shopping, that they would catch up a little bit later. Michelle was actually glad. She didn't feel like meeting her parents' friends just yet, she was having trouble feeling comfortable with her parents themselves!
They ended up buying only the bear, because, as Michelle put it: "There's already tons of toys at your house."
It was her house too, now, but it felt strange calling it home. She hadn't spent even a whole day there!
At the clothes store, Michelle felt even more intimidated. This time she had no idea what to get or even look at, there were so many things!
Leighanne was very understanding and she helped Michelle pick out some cute, simple things. She got her several skirts and dresses, some new jeans (she'd seen the state of the old ones while packing at the orphanage, and she'd been shocked), some new tennis shoes, flip-flops, dressy shoes, T-shirts, shirts, other trousers... basically, she got her some of everything. The thing was, Michelle needed some of everything. Leighanne could not believe the amount of clothes Michelle had, nor the stories she said, little things that she explained, and she seem to think them normal. They were normal things, to Michelle, but Leighanne and Brian were shocked by these things. How an eight year old could have dealt with all this? They just couldn't understand it. They really wanted to help her. She was so loveable, and she needed their love so desperately... She was really sweet and they couldn't understand why her mother hadn't really loved her, how could you help not loving the child? It didn't seem possible to them. To them, Michelle's mother had to have been positively out of her mind to do all those things she did and to not love her daughters. They could understand that Carrie had been unexpected and unwanted, but she remained her child. If they hadn't wanted her, they could have just give her up for adoption, and not do what they'd done.
Whatever had happened in Michelle's sad past, the Littrells desperately wanted to be part of her future. And, though she seemed reluctant and shy, they knew she wanted them to be part of her future, too.
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Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could breakaway
Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all your reviews, you guys keep my inspiration alive =D!! Oh, and by the way, did you like the photograph? I'm Michelle, yay! =)
