Chapter Thirty-One: Shadow Of The Day
“I close both locks below the window. I close both blinds and turn away. Sometimes solutions aren't so simple. Sometimes good bye's the only way. And the sun will set for you. The sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you. In cards and flowers on your window. Your friends all plead for you to stay. Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple. Sometimes good bye's the only way. And the sun will set for you. The sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you. And the shadow of the day. Will embrace the world in grey. And the sun will set for you.” (Shadow of the Day by Linkin Park)
Earlier in the evening while Nick was still having dinner with Emma, Alyssa sat at home relaxing on the couch, doing things for school and grading papers while she tried to pass the time until Nick came home again. She couldn’t help it, the thought of Emma being near Nick made her uncomfortable. But she knew in her heart that he wouldn’t do anything too stupid to ruin all that he’d been trying so hard to save now would he? Then again it wasn’t like he hadn’t given her a reason to worry. Months before he’d confessed his attraction to Emma and it scared her. Did he still harbor those same feelings towards another woman.
Also, what good was it to worry? To work herself up when he’d never cheated on her before. She supposed that somehow her recurring nightmare was to blame for all her paranoia and fear when it came to the subject of Emma. She trusted Nick, knew him well enough that he hardly ever acted on mere physical attraction. He had in the past and learned quickly that settling for sole physical attraction made for very short, usually messy relationships that always ended up in one or both parties getting hurt.
She walked idly through the house seeing the various pictures of the two of them, their family and friends from over the years. She stopped at the piano picking up a picture of her father and herself. How she missed him these past few weeks and months. Missed his voice, and his talks, his words of wisdom that always helped her through anything she might be going through. She stifled the sob that threatened to break through from her. “I miss you pop…” She whispered silently to the picture. With a sigh she set the metal framed picture back on the black baby grand Steinway. She turned and walked out of the room going into the living room, with Layla trotting behind her. She flopped herself down on the couch grabbing the remote hoping to find something to quell her boredom.
Alyssa flicked through channels seeing nothing really on the television. At that moment Layla came over laying her head on Alyssa’s lap as she had laid across the couch. “I know it’s too quiet in the house huh Layla?” She changed to the food network watching some show on how to make the best fried chicken. She sighed, she missed Nick now more than she had at all the entire time they’d gone without talking. She wished his meeting with Emma would be over soon so he could come home and they could just spend the rest of the night curled up on the couch together. Truly that’s what she missed most about the beginning of their relationship. All the time they’d spend just hanging out not really needing much to do or even to get out of comfortable attire to just be completely content being in each other’s company.
Just then the phone rang and Alyssa checked the caller id seeing that it was Kellie calling. “Hey Kel what’s up?” She asked with an air of boredom in her voice that was more obvious than she would have liked. She couldn’t help it, the whole idea of being left alone for much of the evening seemed like a great idea to begin with but at the same time, she didn’t realize how bored she’d be once she’d exhausted all her ideas for things to keep her busy while Nick worked on his business affairs.
Kellie grinned completely elated at hearing her friend’s voice again. “My, my look who finally decided to talk!” She retorted with a chuckle. “How are you sweets?” She asked in genuine interest. Everyone of their friends had been pretty good at letting Nick and Alyssa have their distance to work on their relationship woes, and their grief at losing Noah. Kellie couldn’t help it, she could stay away only for so long, she knew Lori was chomping at the bit for information as well on Alyssa’s progress and would give it to her the next time they hung out. It seemed as of late that all their conversations and lunches they’d shared seemed to revolve around on singular topic. And that was Alyssa. They missed their best friend, the glue that held Triple Trouble together for so many years. Even more so they only hoped that she and Nick could work things out, get married and eventually have that family that had been snatched away from them so cruelly that past July.
“I’m beginning to get better, it’s been hard you know. How are things with Alex?”
Kellie grinned looking over at AJ as he unpacked a few more of her boxes chuckling as he looked through pictures of her and Alyssa and Lori over the years. She’d been completely happy that he’d asked her to move in with him. They’d been dating nearly a year and she’d been more than willing to say yes to his request. “Well we’re busy unpacking and everything.”
“Unpacking what’d you do go on vacation?” Alyssa asked wondering why Kellie would be unpacking. She had forgotten that AJ and Kellie had been dating for so long and may have begun to get really serious in their relationship. She knew that Kellie was always cautious in a relationship waiting a long time to make any sort of move that showed a serious commitment, and her experience with Aaron the year previous had taught her to guard her heart.
Kellie giggled at Alyssa’s apparent ignorance to how serious her relationship with AJ had become, “I moved in with him, I’m living in Malibu now.”
Alyssa gasped a little in shock that her friend had moved in with her boyfriend, “Wow seriously? How long have you two been dating?”
“Almost a year.” Kellie replied rubbing AJ’s shoulder as he passed her in the kitchen. “Where’s Nick normally I hear him in the background bugging you to come back to bed or something.”
Alyssa chuckled a little then sighed in disappointment, “He’s having a business dinner meeting with Emma about her restaurant tonight.” Alyssa explained with a frustrated sigh.
Kellie rolled her eyes and AJ stopped and looked at her with a questioning glance. She grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen writing down Emma’s name and an unhappy face. AJ rolled his eyes and shrugged. Neither of them really liked the idea of Emma, a strange attractive woman coming into Nick’s life and fucking with his emotions. Even if she didn’t do it on a conscious level or even really intentionally, just the thought that one girl could possibly threaten loving relationship that Nick and Alyssa used to cherish so much. “Are you worried about it?”
“I don’t know Kel…I trust him and all…I’m just scared to lose him you know?” Alyssa admitted.
Kellie grinned a little to herself happy that Alyssa was beginning to express her emotions more openly and without fear or reservation. It was a clear indication that with time, that Alyssa would be back and better than ever to the girl that everyone knew her as. And maybe just maybe that the relationship that Kellie so revered, respected and looked up to would be soon restored and gain new life and renewed strength that hadn’t been seen in a long time.
Later that night…
Alyssa woke up in a cold sweat searching blindly for Nick in the darkness only to feel an overwhelming emptiness when she found an empty bed. The nightmare had ripped through her mind leaving her breathing heavily, her heart beating wildly in her chest and a light sheen of sweat on her skin. Layla jolted in the bed looking up over at her wondering if she was okay. Alyssa sighed and patted her head looking around the room. She looked to the clock seeing it was half past ten. She got up wondering where Nick was. She got up with Layla going down the stairs in the dark house seeing how everything seemed dark, eerie with almost no life to it at the late hour. She flicked the light on in the kitchen grabbing the tea pot to make herself some chamomile tea. She filled the pot and put it on the burner going over to the laundry room and doing some folding and adding another load from the washer into the dryer.
She looked to the door that led to the garage hearing Nick pull his Range Rover into the garage. He walked in a few moments later seeing her standing there in a pair of his boxers, and a camisole of hers. He came over and shed his clothes changing into pajamas he grabbed from the pile, red flannel pajama pants and a white wife beater. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed her bare shoulder. She grinned and leaned back. “Didn’t think you’d be home tonight.” She said absently.
Nick pulled back a little and turned her in his embrace. He studied her expression seeing the flicker of fear cross her green eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You know, you’re hanging out with Emma and all…” Nick closed his eyes and backed away a little making Alyssa’s eyes widen at his apparent guilty body language. A million thoughts raged inside her head his entry into the house, the sudden shedding of his clothing, apparently he wanted to get rid of something. “You slept with her didn’t you…” She said bringing her hand to cover her mouth.
Nick shook his head. “No Alyssa you’ve got the wrong idea completely…” He began to explain.
Alyssa’s breathing grew heavier and she back out of the laundry room. “No…you’re hiding something I can tell…”
He tried to move closer to her, to stop her from moving away from him, every time he came close she moved away further frustrating him. “Will you just stop and let me explain??”
“What’s there to explain Nick…I cheated on you with Brandon it’s only fair you get to fuck Emma right?” She said with a cutting bitterness in her tone that cut right through his heart. She felt angry, hurtful hot tears sting the corners of her eyes. “God I promised myself that I would be mature about this if this happened. That I’d be able to handle it and move on like you did. But I can’t handle this right now…” She said looking down at her hands her entire body shaking in fear.
“I didn’t sleep with her…” He said solemnly.
Alyssa looked up through eyes blurred with tears. “What…? But you…?”
Nick shook his head and moved towards her taking her in his arms, “Baby it’s me do you think I’m that stupid to fight for our relationship so much only to fuck it up by sleeping with someone I don’t even really like all that much. Granted Emma’s attractive and a sweet girl…but she’s not you.”
Alyssa cried in relief against his chest for a few moments. She pushed back when the realization hit her that something did indeed happen. It may not have been on the same scale as the idea of Nick having an all out tryst with Emma. But she could tell it was along the same lines. “What happened then?”
Nick swallowed hard and leaned on the counter, “She kissed me…”
“She kissed…you…” Alyssa said folding her arms on her chest. “Did you stop her?”
“Yes, I pushed her away, I couldn’t do it…I love you…” He said as Alyssa moved to him in a flash pressing her lips to his. They stood there in the kitchen in between the pantry doors and the counter kissing passionately. She was elated that he’d pushed Emma away and came home to her. It gave her hope and completely dispelled her fears and made her feel more confident in the trust she’d put in him when she’d handed him her heart. They broke away a moment later and Nick looked around the room and noticed where they were, the exact location that back in January the singular event that would completely change and reshape their lives happened in the very spot they were standing in. “Ali look where we’re standing…” He said looking down at her.
She looked around the room for a moment letting the realization sink into her mind. “Oh my God…” She muttered with a twinge of sadness and shock in her voice. “This is where…”
“Yeah…where he was conceived back in January…God I’d give anything to go back to that version of us. We were so happy.”
Alyssa nodded and hugged him pressing her head against his upper chest. “So would I…I miss finding out that I was pregnant. I miss so much of that early happiness, and it all was ruined because he just…”
“It’s okay, he wasn’t ready for this world. Just means that next time it’ll be different.”
“I don’t even know if I want a next time. I don’t think I could survive if this happened again. Especially if we lost another product of us…like we lost Noah…”
“I know, but we have plenty of time to grow and try again someday when we’re ready to. Because I think that since we lost Noah…it would be pointless for us to never try again, and be the great parents we know we could have been for Noah. We owe him that at least...” Nick explained with a sigh.
“Yeah I guess you’re right. It’s just going to take a lot of time…”
“Anything that’s ever worth it, always takes a long time…But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” He replied wrapping his arm around her. “Come on let’s go get some sleep.” He said as they began to walk out of the kitchen. Just as she was about to turn off the light Alyssa took one more look around the room and sighed then flicked the switch and joined Nick on his walk up the stairs to their bedroom, hoping that for once her doubts and fears wouldn’t plague her dreams anymore.
Thanks everyone again for the great reviews! Keep em coming!! =)
Author's Chapter Notes:
Woo another chapter, I finished my group paper in time to bust out another chapter yay! It's a short one, hope ya'll like.
Chapter End Notes:
To tri thank you for all your help lately!!
