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Author's Chapter Notes:
So I know I know it's been a while since I've updated and hopefully that won't continue. The holidays were really rough for me and my family so that's one reason why I've been so absent from AC. I hope to hear from everyone soon!
Chapter Two: Return To Normalcy



“You overheard that?” She asked with a shocked glance to him at her side. She couldn’t believe that he’d overheard her conversation with the girls the other day at the barbecue. “Are you serious? You really overheard me saying that?”



Nick nodded, “Yeah and it was so completely different from any other time I’ve ever overheard a conversation between you and the girls over the years. Normally you tell them more than you tell me and now it’s like we’re telling each other more than our friends know about us. And I like that a lot.”



Dr. Pinsky grinned a little loving how much their dialogue had changed in just the few short weeks they’d been working on their communication skills. If this was any indication of their future relationship he considered them lucky to have one another to share their life with. “Alyssa does that surprise you that he’s overheard so much?”



“Makes me think he’s been spying on me.” She joked with a snarky grin. “But seriously this wasn’t the first time you’ve eavesdropped?”



Nick shrugged, “I never really intended on it happening but we live in the same house it happened a few times.”



“How many…?”



“I don’t know a few times I guess.”



“Nick for your assignment why don’t you tell her about what you’ve overheard over the years?” Dr. Pinsky suggested. He thought maybe getting Nick to open up about things he’d heard without her knowledge might very well help her to fully become comfortable with their idea of intimacy. “Alyssa also, why did you go to your friends for advice with your relationship? Do you think it could be that you were afraid to fully open up to Nick?”



Alyssa chewed her lip a little. “I don’t know for sure. I mean I guess I’d go to the girls because I was afraid of what Nick would think on a lot of things.”



Nick turned a little bit toward her. “Why? I mean come on you know me and know what reaction I’ll have more often than I do.”



“Yeah and sometimes that scares me. Like certain things I’d talk about with the girls, I know you’ll like it and it’s a bit unnerving. Or even when I know you’ll freak out about something I tend to shy away from telling you until I can word it just right.”



“Well for both of you I want you to really talk about anything and everything you’ve been holding back from each other. Just sit and talk about it. Doesn’t have to be formal or even reciprocal just each of you take the time and tell the other what’s going on in your heads about life and the relationship. Now I have a question for Nick. What made you come up with the idea to move out of LA and up to Monterey?”



Nick took a deep breath and began to explain, “Our house that we live in now. We’ve had so many memories there, some really amazing ones, but a lot of bad ones too. I wanted to give us a fresh start with a home that has no past at all a house that we can make what we want with it.”



“So by getting a new place, you can in a sense have a fresh start?”



Nick nodded, “Yeah pretty much, I mean we’ve worked really hard the last few weeks and I think it’s paid off a lot.”



“I agree with that, you two have made remarkable progress. There’s still a long ways to go but I have a feeling that you two will go far in this.”



Alyssa nodded, “It’s great that you want us to have a fresh start. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for a new house.”



“Well you have a few months to get ready because we have to design the thing and then have it built.”



“True.”



That afternoon…



“So you’re really moving to Monterey?” Kellie and Lori asked almost simultaneously.



Alyssa laughed a little and nodded, “Yeah we’re meeting with the architect tomorrow. It’s a little insane.” She replied sighing alittle she didn’t know what to think of Nick’s plan of uprooting them from they’re home on Venice beach. She’d come to love that house that he’d bought for them to live in while she was in college. It honestly was her first real home away from her parents home in Arizona. She was a bit uncertain she wanted to give up the little bit of stability that house had always provided for her even when her relationship with Nick seemed less than stable.



“Well it’s not like she’s moving to New York. It’s only Monterey, it’s a five hour drive north.” Kellie reassured.



“Depending on how fast you drive…” Lori added with a grin at how Alyssa was always the more lead foot-ed one of the group.



Alyssa smirked and nodded, “But seriously the land is gorgeous I can totally see us building a huge house there and having everyone over for a huge barbecue weekend. We even want to have a guest house added too so we can have you guys come up and stay for a weekend.”



“Seems like you two have it all planned out.”



“Yeah it seems like we do, but really we have no idea what we’re getting ourselves into. And we don’t even know if we’re going to sell the house here, because well the housing market sucks right now so even if we did try to sell it would we get market value for it?”



Kellie and Lori exchanged a glance and chuckled a bit. “You’re kidding right?”



“What?”



“Since when are you like a real estate guru?”



Alyssa lauched and rolled her eyes in slight annoyance at them, “I do watch the news you know. And read the papers. Just because I’ve been a little isolated with Nick doesn’t mean I’m not keeping up on current events.”



“Isolated isn’t really the term. More like a bubble. You two are completely different now.”



“Yeah is that so bad?”



“I don’t know maybe it is.”



“Lori!”



“What…it’s a little soon don’t you think for you two to be like BAM all better right? It’s only been a little over two months since you lost Noah. Don’t you think it’s a bit quick to be over it?”



Alyssa sighed and looked away. She took a deep breath and looked back at Lori. “You think I’m over it? If that’s what you think you’re dead wrong Lori.” She said sternly. She couldn’t believe that anyone would even think that she’d be the slightest bit over what had happened last July. She knew in her heart that she never truly be over what had happened. No one should ever have to bury a child let alone one that never even really got a chance at life. “We’re never going to be ‘over’ it Lorelei. What Nick and I went through was horrible and I hope never to relive it again. But it happened, and we can’t change it. All Nick and I can do is try to pull together, and hopefully lead a happier future. I don’t want to dwell on Noah’s death anymore. He died because he wasn’t ready to live. It was his time period end of story. And Nick and I are the ones that have to deal with it.”



“I’m just saying…” Lori began to explain taken completely aback by the fire in Alyssa’s stare and the firmness of her voice.



Alyssa held up her hand and shook her head. “No Lori. You’ll never understand what he and I went through. Yes you’ve been through quite a bit in your life too. But it’ll never compare to losing a child. God forbid anything should happen to Jamie. You don’t know how lucky you are to have a healthy little boy to go home to everyday.” She said standing up and walking out of the restaurant. She couldn’t help how angry she’d gotten at Lori’s remarks. She knew Lori didn’t mean anything by it but to just be a good friend but at the same time it infuriated her that she would never be able to understand the amount of pain that she’d been through that she was still going through.



“Ali!” Kellie shouted as she walked after her as they reached her truck. “Come on honey you know how Lori is, she likes to be everyone’s mother.”



Alyssa shook her head, “I’m going to be 24 soon. I don’t need a mother, I have one, I was one…if only for a brief moment.” She said getting a hurt look on her face feeling the corners of her eyes sting with tears.



“Ali…” She started. Alyssa gave her a look and shook her head before getting in the car and driving away. Alyssa was hurt by Lori’s remarks that was for sure. She headed home with her her heart racing. She’d never blown up like that before. Sure thing she’d gotten angry with them several times over the course of their friendship. That’s how friendships really worked out didn’t they? You agreed on some things and didn’t on others and sometimes that could lead to a fight. She sighed as she pulled into the driveway and into the garage parking next to Nick’s range rover.



She went inside seeing Nick sitting at the dining room table going over some bills and their monthly budget. “Hey…” She said sort of glumly. Nick looked up and grinned at her.



He looked down back at the papers and patted the chair adjacent to his for her to sit down. “How was your day?” He asked not looking up as he sorted the bills into a multi file folder that Alyssa had made them start back when they moved in. Alyssa laid her head on his shoulder and sighed in response. Hearing this he stopped and turned his head slightly to see her head resting on his shoulder, her shoulders in turn were slumped slightly with exhaustion and a touch of frustration. “Are you okay?” He asked noting her somewhat saddened demeanor as he continued sorting the papers before him.



“Had a stupid fight with the girls…”



He stopped and settled the papers on the table and then wrapped his arms around her. “So what happened?” He asked letting his concern show through in his voice.



“Just Lori was coming down on me for being so different so quickly after losing Noah…and it’s like well it still fucking hurts, but at least I don’t cry more than once a day about it anymore. It’s still really rough when I stop and physically think about it. But with work, and therapy and school and well you…I don’t really allow much time to dwell on it.”



Nick rubbed his fingers over her shoulder and kissed her temple. “It’s okay honey to get frustrated that they don’t understand. They’ve never been through something this personal I guess.”



Alyssa shrugged and turned to look over at his face, “I know it’s just frustrating. I mean is it still rough for you that we lost him?”



Nick nodded, “Yeah…” He said his mouth and throat suddenly becoming dry. He hated thinking of the night he lost their son. He still blamed himself for not being there when he passed. But something in his mind told him that it was better that he didn’t personally see the cessation of life in that little incubator that night. If he had…he didn’t know what his reaction would have been. He did know, however, that it would have been ten times worse.



“Sorry…for bringing it up and all…”



“No…it’s okay…I’m glad you did. It’s been rough on us both this whole thing but at the same time, if I didn’t have you to come home to then it really would be much harder.”



Alyssa sighed and gave him a short but sweet kiss. She broke it momentarily and breathed out, “I love you.”



He kissed her forehead and drew her close. “I love you too.”



“So how about we make dinner. You set the table and I’ll cook?” Alyssa offered with a grin.



He smiled back at her, “How about we eat in the living room tonight?”



“Sounds like a plan to me.”



Later on that night…



Alyssa giggled as they laid together on the couch. “Seriously how many fucking candles did you light?”



Nick laughed a little harder as he tightened his arm around her shoulders and the one around her waist as they laid comfortably spooning on the couch. “Lost count after like twenty.” He shrugged.



Alyssa sighed, “What has gotten into you lately?” She asked cocking her head to the side to look over her shoulder at him. He smirked and kissed her cheek.



“What do you mean?”



“This, this whole romance thing we have going.”



He arched an eyebrow at her in surprise, “Are you complaining?” He asked nuzzling her neck making her giggle and scrunch up her neck to stop him from tickling her with his breath.



“No just…well…it’s odd. Like I’m not really used to it. Yeah we’ve always had great romance and chemistry don’t get me wrong…but they always came sort of second to…”



“Sex… I know it’s why I’ve been trying to balance everything out.”



“And pulling the bitch routine on me.” She said with a sly smirk. She always made fun of him for calling how girls would hold out sex from their significant others, the “bitch routine”. Ever since he’d made the comment on Howard Stern the year before when he had referenced his hesitation with Paris.



Nick laughed as she turned around in his embrace making him lay back flat on the couch bringing her on top of him. “I am not pulling the bitch routine. I’ve had sex with you remember…”



Alyssa laughed a little and pinched his sides. “I don’t know…maybe you should remind me.”



“Horny much?”



Alyssa groaned and relaxed against him, “You’re terribly frustrating sometimes you know?”



He snickered at her and rubbed his hands along her back. “Well I’m just a little hesitant with getting back into that side of our relationship. It sort of fucked us up in the first place and we shouldn’t have let it get in the way.”



“So better to not have sex at all than have sex and not talk?” She asked sitting up straddling his hips looking down at him with a smirk. He pushed her back a little and sat up keeping their distance just enough from each other.



“No…I didn’t say that, it’s just this time I want it to be different.”



“It is different now, everything is.” Alyssa countered. “I mean hell we’re going to be moving out of this house in a few short months into another home.”



“Yeah I know you’d be a little apprehensive about moving out.”



“Well yeah, Nick this is my home in LA, it’s gonna be hard to give up this place.”



“I know…it’s hard for me too, but sometimes you just have to start over someplace new.” He said making her nod in agreement.



“I get that I honestly do. I just don’t know if I’m ready to part with this place just yet.”



He smirked and brought her down to him and kissed her. “You don’t have to be ready now, we still have time.” He replied breaking the kiss and smiling at her.