Chapter Thirty: Shakespeare In Love
"So what are you two doing for V-day?" Kellie asked as the girls perused the stacks at a local bookstore that thankfully was in walking distance of the hotel. Since Kellie had gotten farther along in her pregnancy her affinity for physical movement became less and less.
"Not too much, dinner, maybe dancing, then back to the hotel for presents and probably sex." Alyssa replied smiling a little as they approached the greeting card section of the store.
"What are you getting him?"
"Well we decided to do little things this year, small gifts under ten dollars. So I'm getting him a card and guitar picks."
"Ooh I'm sure he'll like that a lot." Kellie cooed as she chewed on a licorice whip. "I'm getting Alex a card and a book of gothic poetry. He's really into it so I figured it'd be sweet to get it for him."
Alyssa grinned happily at her friend, "And to think it's your first Valentine's Day as a married woman!"
Kellie grinned in response, "You'll be right there with me in a few months." She replied seeing Alyssa's back straighten slightly at the mention of the looming nuptials. "Are you getting cold feet?"
"Huh? Oh no.... Just crazy nervous about it. I want it to be fun and relaxing but I haven't even picked out my dress, the girls dresses. I think Nick and I decided at least to do traditional vows but have original ones written and given to each other before the ceremony. And we decided that we're going to have siblings as best man and matron of honor. Neither of us could decide on any of our friends so we decided instead of pissing people off that we would just go with two of the closest people to us."
"Have you told Ollie yet?"
"No I'm going to call her and ask her soon. I wish I could ask her in person but being half the world away and her wife is pregnant wouldn't be a good idea for Ollie to travel all this way. I could just show up on her doorstep though."
"What about Aaron, he'll be over the moon about planning a bachelor party for Nick."
"Oh I know. Nick called him up and told him and dude he shrieked! I thought it was just out of shock that Nick asked him to be his best man. But I think it's also because he really is turning his life around so he's excited for Nick to trust him with that much responsibility."
"So what about the bridesmaids and groomsmen?" She asked wondering and maybe even really hoping she'd be in that list.
"You're first Bridesmaid my dear so chill. Then Lori and then Leslie. I'd put all of Nick's sisters in but we want a small wedding party. And Nick's got Chris, Brent and Andrew. He was really torn on putting any of the guys in but he decided against it or else he would have put all of them in the party and then it'd just be too much to handle for us. We want our wedding to be fun and relaxing and not all crazy stressful. Mindy our wedding planner has been an absolute gem."
"Have you thought of what dress you want? I mean hell you and I can do some pre-shopping perusing to figure out the style you want to make it easier for when you want to go buy it."
Alyssa shrugged as she picked up a simple card that had a multicolored heart on it with the word "Always" underneath it. She opened the card and smiled at the saying...
For the one who always holds my heart... Happy Valentine's Day.
"Now that's a card." She muttered taking it along with the envelope to give to Nick. "Anyways, yeah I think that's a good idea. My mom's coming out in a month and she wanted to shop then so I think we could do a little pre-shopping. I really don't want to drag my mother around for hours on end only to have us not find the dress."
"Well...Valentine's day presents are already done, so let's go check out some dresses." Kellie suggested grinning widely.
Alyssa smiled back at her and shrugged as they made their purchases, "You know..." She began as they made their way to the door. "I never thought I'd be actually excited to go dress shopping...ever." She remarked making them both burst out into a fit of giggles.
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Nick Narrating:
Ugh...Now I remember why I hated when we were managed by the Firm. Endless upon endless meetings. Jeff and Tim, I swear I realize now why I never missed them as our managers. At least Johnny and Ken knew when we'd had enough. These two? Total machines...I swear under their skin they're all Terminator'd out just to drive us into insanity.
Okay, okay so I'm really exaggerating here, but it's Valentine's Day for Christ's sake. I realize our first Japan date is well in two days. But we've played small little venues for two solid weeks getting back into the swing of touring. But we're back to playing the Tokyo Dome and these idiots are acting like we've never played there before.
It's times like these that I do let my mind wander in the middle of meetings. Like right now I'm letting my mind drift off to my fiancée.
I know she's out with Kellie, probably doing some last minute shopping for Valentine's Day. I on the other hand already got her present, ages ago. Okay not exactly ages but like four days ago. It's simple really and according to her it's within our little price range (actually thanks to Lori it was free). That and I also bought some sour gummy worms this morning, her personal favorite candy next to pixie sticks. No idea why she likes them so much but apparently she liked them as a kid and doesn't eat them very often.
The gift is really simple. It's just a picture really. I had to hunt Lori down though and have her ship it to me though. It's a picture from her 21st birthday....our kiss on her birthday at the club. It's slightly fuzzy but you can tell that it's us. Sentimental I know but I think that was the first and last time she and I have ever really had sex. Sounds a little nuts but it's true. It's the only time she was really ever just herself. The real Alyssa, the one that made me fall for her. And tonight I'm kind of hoping to get that back.
I mean I know why she does it, I get it really. She thinks that if she's all-confident then she'll be able to keep me interested. But she's finally beginning to see that I don't care if she's all confident or vulnerable or whatever. She's Ali, and that's always been enough for me. Whether or not my actions may have contradicted that or just reaffirmed it because I was trying to deny the truth to myself for so fucking long. I think that's why I get Olivia so much. For years she fought like hell to prove to herself that she was more interested in guys. And it just kept reconfirming with every failed relationship and lack luster hook up that she was really only kidding herself. And that's how I feel about my life before Alyssa and I got together. Honestly I can't believe how much I had myself convinced that she'd never feel anything for me. Looking back you can see she was flirting like hell at certain points but at the time I was taking it as friendly teasing and banter.
Maybe because I ignored those advances for so long that makes Alyssa think she has to be this different person. I mean she's not all that different. It's still Ali and still a major piece of her personality. Just sometimes it seems to overshadow the other complexities to her character that I love so much.
I mean is it wrong to want that?
I'm worried though, that as our wedding approaches that we're going to find less and less time to be together and this whole thing is just going to evolve into something that isn't even about us anymore. It's a logical fear and Alyssa knows it. I've told her that I don't want it to become something we're not. Thankfully she agrees. Hell we even nailed down a guest list and everything. Now all the minute details are coming into the picture. Clothing, food, the fucking right shade of white for the invitations, which that just annoys the crap out of me when she can't decide on stuff like that.
She's a Libra I know and is a classic one at that, extremely indecisive when the decision is important to her. But come on the difference between Ivory and Bone? Ugh...certain things about this wedding I really wish I had no say in whatsoever. Honestly we could buy invitations from the Hallmark store or make them on the computer and I wouldn't care.
I know, I know I sound like one of those asshole guys in the movies where the cute girl is marrying the total douche right? But really it's not that I don't care about what the invitations look like. Little details like that don't matter to me. All I care about is getting her and I married come mid-May.
So I guess if I have to put up with more analyzing on what would look better with what then I'll do it. But it doesn't mean I have to like it.
End Narration.
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"Dear God, I cannot believe you remember that!" Alyssa exclaimed wiping the corners of her eyes that had teared up due to immense laughter. Suddenly she was happy that she and Nick had ran into AJ and Kellie on their way out of the hotel and decided to double for the evening.
"Oh yeah, do you remember how pissed off my grandmother was? Not to mention your parents that we snuck out to see a Metallica concert at the ripe old age of 15." Kellie replied making Alyssa snort.
"We didn't sneak out, we just slipped out unnoticed. Honestly I thought I was going to be grounded forever." Alyssa snickered back. "Dad even threatened to not let me go see you at the concert just after my birthday that year."
"Which totally would have sucked ass, that concert was awesome. Besides getting to finally meet the infamous Nick we'd heard so much about for three and a half years was the best part next to well the ladders." Kellie openly admitted making AJ laugh and pat her knee as Alyssa and Nick exchanged a quick glance smiling at each other.
"At least I didn't squeal like a teenie every time Alex came over to our side of the stage." Alyssa shot back making Kellie's face flush red.
AJ looked at his wife and grinned, "Really?" He asked not even looking at Alyssa but that was where his question was directed.
Alyssa smiled, "Oh yeah girl had it bad even back then."
"Hey I wasn't the only one who had it bad. Seriously she's been all Nick this and Nick that since she was a preteen." Kellie snarkily replied.
Alyssa sighed and shrugged, "I've succumbed to it what can I say." She said looking down at her dress fixing the hem on her legs unconsciously.
Nick noticed it but chose not to say anything for the moment and turned to Kellie with a grin. "So tell me is married life any different than living together?" He asked earnestly. He wondered what married life would do to them individually and as a couple. He'd heard stories from Brian and Kevin of dry spells in the romance department, which would lead to a little bit of tension between them and their respective wives within the first couple of years of marriage. However they'd already gone through things much the same that had almost torn them apart and they'd survived haven't they?
Kellie beamed at AJ and he grinned widely back placing a hand on her stomach. "Seriously best thing ever." AJ replied.
She chuckled and patted his hand, "Not everyday is paradise but I like it so far. We're happy. Right babe?"
"Most definitely. It's really different though but not at the same time. But I definitely love knowing she's got my last name. Seeing that on paper is just insanity but a good insanity." He said noticing the range of amused confusion displayed on their faces. He turned to Kellie and laced their fingers. "I'm not very good at this am I?"
Kellie squeezed his hand reassuringly. "He means that it's like your birthday in a way. You know something's definitely different but at the same time it doesn't really feel different other than the obvious change in names, titles and such. I mean I still feel like we're dating in a way just in a much more committed relationship than we were."
Alyssa nodded, "Yeah, earlier today was really weird in that respect."
"What do you mean?" Nick asked.
"We did a little wedding dress pre-shopping." Kellie interjected making Alyssa smirk. "And I took pictures."
"Can I see?" Nick asked hoping that since they hadn't found the dress she wanted that they'd be inclined to show him what she didn't want. Kellie glanced at Alyssa questioningly and then handed the cell phone over to him once Alyssa had smiled and nodded. He took the phone looking at the first picture seeing a rather ornately beaded and very poofy princess dress on his fiancée. Even though his personal taste didn't really like the dress just the fact of seeing her in a white wedding dress made his breath catch in his throat. "Whoa..." He said lowly his voice cracking.
Alyssa gave him a look and then leaned over and rolled her eyes, "Pretty I know, but I couldn't walk in it so definitely nix'ed that idea right there. It's like 40 pounds of chiffon in that damn thing." She remarked making Nick snicker and Kellie roll her eyes.
"At least you get to have a nice wedding dress. I had a maternity cocktail dress for mine." Kellie reminded.
Alyssa giggled and watched as Nick clicked to the next picture, a simple off-white silk sheath dress that was as classy as it was sexy. He grinned at the picture and showed her, "And what about this one?"
"To simple. It felt more like lingerie than an actual dress." She sighed as Nick handed back the phone to Kellie.
Nick smiled at her knowing that she already had an idea of what she wanted to look like on their wedding day. "Anything in particular?"
"Something flowy but not poofy. I know I'm totally not making any sense but Kellie gets what I mean. Mom is coming out to visit next month so I think it'll be good that she'll be here to help me out. It's a hard decision to make odd as that sounds."
"I'm sure you'll do fine."
Later that evening...
Nick smiled over at her before pulling her to sit closer to him. "Thank you for the guitar picks. I'm going to use them at rehearsals. I won't at shows since I have a habit of throwing them." He remarked making her smile.
"Thank you for the picture, and the new composition book for my journal. How did you know I just ran out?"
"Because you usually run out every year and you started a new one last February so I figured it'd be a good time. That and I like reading the older ones, gives me a lot of insight into your head." He replied as he leaned the side of his jaw against her temple, feeling the small jolt of her pulse from the small vein there.
She sighed and relaxed against him just content to sit there for the rest of the night. However, it was Valentine's Day and she didn't have any intention of just sitting around. Starting agonizingly slow she moved in his embrace to where they were eye to eye. She studied his expression for a moment and told him she loved him before moving in to press her mouth against his. He brought his hand up to cradle her neck. Alyssa deepened the kiss and felt his hand tighten slightly on the back of her neck. His other hand moved from around her shoulders to her lower back over the skin that showed through the large opening in the nearly backless dress.
Feeling his own impatience grow he moved the hand at her neck down its curves to her shoulder and down over her arm until he reached her elbow bringing her arm up and placing her hand on his shoulder. Using the backs of his finger tips he trailed his hand back up her arm and then dropped to her ribs staying there over the dark material of her halter dress. Alyssa buried her fingers into his hair tugging gently as she sucked on his bottom lip lightly.
He took her hips into his hands and began sliding her forward closer to him to where she was practically sitting on his lap. He felt her breathing quicken as their chests became pressed together. He knew it wouldn't be long before he was pushing her back on the bed and ripping that cute little black cocktail dress off of her. There was something he wanted to ask of her, knew what he wanted to have with her again but he needed to get it out before his desire overtook his logic and reason. Reluctantly he broke the kiss seeing her look at him questioningly, then without a word her face changed to a smirk and she stood before he spoke making it his turn to give her a questioning glance. She moved across the room and to the bathroom telling him to get comfortable as she disappeared into the bathroom.
Nick laid back on the bed for a moment his feet firmly planted on the floor and his hands over his face. How was he supposed to ask her what he wanted? True it was a big deal to him but maybe he'd say the wrong thing and end up hurting her in the process. He knew he definitely couldn't stand to see any pain on her face, not after all they'd been through. A few moments later he heard the door creak open and he sat up still on the edge of the bed seeing her in just her white silk kimono robe. He smiled at her as she stood between his knees. She leaned down to kiss him and he pulled away for a moment making her cock an eyebrow at him.
"What's the matter? Don't you want to open your present?" She asked flirtatiously.
He grinned and sighed placing his hands on her waist. "More than anything right now, but I have something to ask you..." He started seeing her nod for him to continue. "I've been thinking a lot lately about the whole, confidence in the bedroom thing and don't get me wrong I love it when you are...."
"But...?" She asked knowing that was going to be in there somewhere. She swallowed hard not knowing where he was going with this but she hoped it wasn't bad.
"But...I just want you. The real you, not some perfect version of yourself to impress me with."
Alyssa took a breath trying to process what he was saying. "But I am me. That is part of me...I want to be..."
"But you already are..." He interjected knowing she was going to say she wanted to be perfect for him, to be the quintessential dream girl that would do anything. "Even without all of that. You're it okay? I don't need to be impressed or anything like that you've already got me...hook line and sinker. So tonight...I just want you, my fiancée. Think you can handle being just you tonight?"
Alyssa smiled softly and nodded before leaning down capturing his mouth with hers. She broke the kiss and brought his hands to the ties that held the robe shut. He smirked up at her as he slowly untied it seeing her bare abdomen show through the still semi closed material. She met his surprised glance. "It's Valentine's day...didn't really think any of my lingerie was appropriate for tonight. And now that you want just me...well..." She said half chuckling and half serious.
He smiled and slipped the robe from her shoulders leaving her completely bare to him. She watched him study her suppressing the flush of embarrassment at his open stare. She studied his face as his eyes moved over her and his hands followed seeing the look of adoration so plainly present in his expression. Suddenly and without warning she felt a surge of confidence within her. She couldn't quite understand it but the mere fact of his words and how he was looking at her made her more at ease with herself and with him than she had ever felt before. Maybe she hadn't seen it through her own need to keep up a façade for him but whatever it was she was happy to see that he really did mean what he said.
He wrapped his arms around her waist twisting them around and laying her on the bed beneath him. Alyssa pouted at him slightly. "Hardly fair...you're not...."
He interrupted her whine kissing her deeply. He broke the kiss just mere moments later, "That can be fixed." He replied as he slipped off his shirt tossing it across the room as Alyssa reached for his pants unbuckling his belt before he pushed he hands away undoing them and moving away from her for a moment to kick them and his boxer briefs off his hips. He rolled back to her smiling as she wrapped her hands around his neck pulling him on top of her feeling him already painfully hard against the inside of her thigh. He smirked while he turned her face to the side kissing along her jaw line up to it's hinge then over to her ear. "I love you." He whispered quietly making her smile ad turn her head back to him.
"I love you too." She said mirroring his sentiment seeing his smile brighten even more. Alyssa closed her eyes and sighed as his trailed his mouth down her throat. She shivered feeling his hands trail lightly up her ribs tickling her unintentionally. Alyssa opened her eyes as his kissed his way down her body paying close attention to her collarbone, the curves of her chest to the tensing muscles in her stomach.
He leaned up on his elbows slightly leaning on one as he trailed his fingertips down the center of her as she swallowed hard and her muscles trembled in anticipation. He leaned onto his side laying half on her and next to her as he moved his fingers over the lines of her hips, over the tops of her thighs to her knee. He moved his hand to the leg closest to him as she bent it up resting it against his hips. She raised up a little placing a couple of pillows behind her head to get more comfortable. He smiled at her and kissed the inside of her elbow while he moved his hand up her inner thigh grazing across her. Her body froze for a moment and Nick looked up to her face seeing her eyes at half mast yet looking down to where he'd touched her. He moved his hand on her again slipping his thumb around her clit making her tense and moan as her head fell back against the pillows.
He continued to move his fingers against her, within her as he watched how she reacted to every change in movement, every repetition with a sigh or breathy moan. Nick looked up her body slowly seeing the flush begin to creep across her as he sped up his fingers not at all surprised when she began thrusting her hips back against his hand while her own hands, one clutching the comforter so hard her knuckles were pure white and the other went to the hand buried between her legs gliding over his wrist gripping it and guiding it just how she wanted. He watched as her hand then slipped with his own making lacing their fingers as they moved over her. Within moments of her hand joining his he felt that all too familiar shudder as no sound escaped her lips but a soft satisfied sigh.
Not letting the feeling subside for even a moment Alyssa moved her hand to his hips wrapping around him stroking gently. He groaned softly feeling his breath catch in his throat from the suddenness of her move. He pushed her hand away just a few moments later even though he would have laid there the rest of the night he knew he wanted more than just this. Nick got to his knees in front of her smirking as she let her legs fall open for him. Grabbing the backs of her thighs he pulled her down the bed slightly before he laid himself on top of her bringing their faces within just an inch of each other.
Alyssa looked up at him grinning widely as she wrapped her arms around his neck bringing him down on top of her. He entered her slowly watching her face as she stared up at him trying her best to keep her eyes on him to watch the range of emotions on his face. Once their hips rested against each other Nick leaned down claiming her lips as he began to move against her. She breathed in deeply breaking the kiss to sigh. Feeling a little bolder she wrapped her legs around his hips as he moved against her slowly and purposefully keeping that pace as he brought them to a slow, unhurried and lingering release.
Feeling their bodies begin to come down slightly Nick laid there with her cradling their bodies together as they came down from their highs. She smiled up at him running her fingers across his jaw before bringing him back down for another kiss.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Yay another chapter! Lol sorry for the delay I've been so busy with school and such it's been hard to write! Anyways the next few chapters should go by quickly because the wedding is coming...very very soon!! Hope you all enjoy and thank you for all the wonderful feedback!
Chapter End Notes:
Thank you all for reading!! =) And a big thank you to Darby, Mel and April!
