*Four months later*January 2008*

            I strode confidently down the hall of the office building, determined to prove to myself that I could handle what was about to happen. I hadn’t seen him face-to-face in four months. Four agonizingly long months. Four months that had been filled with regret and heartache. And during those four months, it seemed that the Backstreet Boys were everywhere. Most of that was my doing, however, so I had no one to blame by myself. I had been working the promotional tour from home, trying to get their name back out there and prove to the public that the Backstreet Boys were here to stay and that they hadn’t gone anywhere. And it seemed to be working, too. I hadn’t seen this many positive reviews from critics since the days of Millennium. But it also meant that everywhere I looked, I had to see his smiling face. And I had to hear him talk about Janie. Like salt being rubbed into an open wound. But it was my job, so I didn’t have a choice.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Alex asked, stopping me just outside the meeting room. Behind the heavy wooden door in front of us waited the remaining three Backstreet Boys. “Because if you’re not ready, just tell me, and I’ll make up some excuse to get you out of it.”

            However, as I stood looking at the door that held my future, I couldn’t help but question my decision. Question the timing. Could I really do this so soon after losing my heart? Could I really face the man that haunted my dreams every night without showing him how much he still affected me? Could I put on a brave face and pretend like my whole world hadn’t ended four months ago at that altar? I guess there was only one way to find out.

             “I have to be ready, Alex. There’s no more time. Jive is breathing down my neck to get back on tour with you guys. The Firm is beating down my door, threatening my job. I don’t really have any other option. I can only leave Clarissa in charge for so long before the Firm catches on. Besides, the promo tour is over and the real tour is starting soon. It’s in my contract that I have to accompany you on all major tours,” I confessed, not trying to hide my worry.

            “Screw the Firm. Fuck Jive. Hell, forget about us. Are YOU ready for this? Can you handle being back? Can you handle watching them together without wearing your heart on your sleeve? Because if you can’t, you might as well turn around right now because you’re just going to end up hurting Janie,” Alex told me, no bullshit, no sugar-coating. Straight Alex.   

            “Thanks, Alex, for caring. But I’ll be fine. I know what I have to do, and I’m prepared to do it. No matter what,” I showed my gratitude, laying it all on the line. 

            “I just don’t want to see you do something you’re not ready for. Something you can’t handle. After all, you are going to be my sister-in-law, and Laurie would freak if I didn’t at least TRY to talk you out of it,” he pointed out, chuckling quietly.

Oh yeah. Did I forget to mention that Alex proposed to my sister about a month and a half ago? And what’s even more shocking is that my sister actually said yes. They were planning on getting married as soon as the Unbreakable Tour was over. And I was going to be Laurie’s maid of honor. And guess who Alex’s best man was going to be? Yup. You guessed it. Brian. But I had plenty of time to worry about that later.

             “Don’t want to get you in trouble with the future Mrs. McLean, do I?” I laughed, knowing from experience how long my sister could hold a grudge. Not to mention, her temper could turn even the meanest biker into a groveling mess. 

            “Nope,” he laughed as well, giving me a knowing look. “Shall we make our fashionably late appearance, then, darling?” he asked, extending his arm out for me to take while he opened the door.

            “But of course,” I responded, linking arms with him and putting on the most pompous, bored look I could manage, sticking my chin higher than I thought I could reach.

            As soon as we were in the room, I felt his eyes following my every move, analyzing my body language for any sign to what I was feeling. I didn’t give in to the urge to look at him, knowing that as soon as I did, my resolve would falter. Instead, I made my way to the head of the table, opposite where he was sitting, and started organizing my paperwork for the meeting ahead. 

            It didn’t serve as much of a distraction, however, because before I knew it, I had no other choice but to take in a deep breath and confront my fears. When I looked up, I put on my mask and studied each of the guys gathered in front of me.

            To my left, Howie wore a huge smile, his eyes a deeper brown than I could ever remember seeing them before. He looked truly happy, and I knew that the credit for that lay solely with his wife, Leigh. They had been, from what I had heard, fully entranced by each other after their recent nuptials, and had enjoyed jumping from country to country for their honeymoon, visiting all their favorite vacation spots. The big day was incredibly romantic, and hearing everyone’s personal accounts of the big day made me regret missing the once-in-a-lifetime ceremony. But we were all excited that after several LONG years, Howie had finally decided to commit. In the words of Alex, “It’s about fucking time, man!”

            Next to Howie, Nick sat playing with his iPod, only half-paying attention to what was going on around the room. I honestly don’t even think he realized Alex and I were here already. I knew how much Nick hated meetings, but I also knew that this was a mandatory meeting if the Boys had any hope of finding success with this record. I actually kind of felt bad for the guy. Here he was, surrounded by guys who were all getting married or were already married, and he didn’t even have a girlfriend. Sure, he had Nicole, but they still hadn’t admitted their feeling for each other, and we were all beginning to wonder if it would ever happen like we had expected. It’s no wonder the guy was so moody all the time. He was lonely and confused. I decided to cut the guy some slack. At least for awhile.  

            Next my eyes finally landed on him. His usual smile was nowhere to be seen, and his eyes looked dull and withdrawn. He had bags under his eyes, making it obvious that he wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep. He didn’t look like the same man I had left four months ago. He didn’t even look like the same man I saw on TV. When his eyes met mine, I couldn’t help put cringe at the helplessness and despair that seemed to have overwhelmed him. This was not the Brian Littrell I had known for years. This was not the man I had fallen in love with. This was a shell of the man I once knew. And it made me wonder what had happened to bring him to this kind of misery.

            “Hi,” he greeted me softly, his voice lacking its usual energy.

            “Hey,” I responded back, my eyes unable to handle his appearance any longer. I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back on track before addressing the whole room. “I’m sorry to call you all in on your day off, but an issue has presented itself, and Jive wanted me to take care of it right away. I know it was kind of late notice, but I’m glad to see you all made it.”  

            Who was that woman talking? It sure as hell wasn’t me. I hadn’t been that formal with the Boys since the first day I had started working with them. I had also never been so nervous or so eager to dismiss them.

            “Shut up, Cal. For a beautiful woman like yourself, you know I’ll always be there for you,” Alex joked, sending me a wink and a smile in an attempt to loosen me up and help me relax.  

            “Oh Alex, ever the flirt. What would my sister think of that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow in question at his shameless advances.

            “Hey, at least I’m keeping it in the family,” he responded, smirking in my direction.

            “All the more reason NOT to hit on your future sister-in-law,” I laughed, thankful for his presence. I don’t know how I would have gotten through this meeting without him, and I was suddenly thankful that I had someone on my side to back me up.

            “Ok, before Alex gets himself in trouble with his fiancée, why don’t we get back to the meeting?” Howie intervened, laughing at his best friend’s crazy antics. In fact, everyone in the room looked amused by Alex and my joking. Everyone but him. In fact, if I didn’t know better, I might even say he looked mad or, dare I say, jealous? 

            “Of course,” I smiled, letting the last of my laughter out before getting back on track. I quickly passed around the folders I had spent the last three days preparing so that the Boys could see exactly what their fans had been saying while I talked about Jive’s proposition – the reason for this impromptu meeting. “Well, it seems that Jive has been getting a lot of feedback from the fans about the new single, and to put it bluntly, they are NOT happy. At all. In fact, they are outraged and disappointed – and they aren’t afraid to say it. Inside these folders you’ll find some of the most passionate and brutally honest letters I could find after sifting through your fan mail for three days straight. I want you to look at some of the things these people have been saying about the single. ‘Calling the new single mediocre would be exaggerating to the umpteenth degree. This single is not worthy of the Boys’ name, and should be scrapped immediately.’ Or how about the next one. ‘After hearing that the new single was going to be Helpless When She Smiles, I must admit that I felt extremely disappointed. I couldn’t believe that the next single was going to be yet ANOTHER ballad, especially with all the amazing up-tempo songs on the new album. I thought for sure this was one rumor that wasn’t true – but to my dissatisfaction, I was proven wrong. I know that you have the Boys’ best interests at heart, but I can’t help but feel that you are going to end up destroying the band I grew up listening to if you don’t stop trying to control their every move. They have been in this business long enough to know how to market themselves and how to create the kind of music their fans have grown to love. They are legends in their own right, so let them prove to the world that they are here to stay. Yours truly, a concerned fan.’ As you can see, even after everything, your fans still support you, but they are getting fed up with the disappointment. I think it’s time we did something for them to show that you are still the same group you have always been.”

            “What did you have in mind, Cal?” Howie asked, easily transitioning into his role as the oldest, most responsible member of the group.  

“Well, I went to Jive with a proposition last week and they asked me to present the idea to you guys. We all know that Jive screwed up when they picked a ballad for the second single, but even we couldn’t have predicted the kind of backlash they’ve been seeing. The video hasn’t debuted on any countdowns yet and it has been out for over a month. It has been ridiculed and dissected piece-by-piece by critics looking for flaws. The single has only gotten adds on maybe 10 radio stations around the country – if that. Well, Jive finally realized they screwed up, even if they would never admit it outright, and they suggested launching the third single early. We could shoot the video for ‘Everything But Mine,’ in between tour rehearsals, and then we could fit in promotion while you’re on tour in Europe. The tour is spread out well enough that we could even take a couple of weeks in March to promote the new single in the States,” I explained, holding my breath while they sat there contemplating the proposition. I knew that if they didn’t agree to this, they wouldn’t stand a chance on the charts when they finally DID release the new single. This was pretty much a last-ditch effort to save their careers from the mess Jive had made. Ever since the beginning, Jive had been screwing the Boys over. Well, this time, they went a little TOO far. And now, they may have just destroyed their last chance at allowing the Boys’ to reach their highest potential and promoting their finest album to-date. All because Jive thought they knew better.  

“What are our other options?” Alex spoke up, asking the question without glancing up from the letter he was reading. “Or do we not have any?” 

“Honestly, this is it. I’m afraid that if we don’t do something soon, you might as well kiss your successful careers goodbye,” I admitted, honestly, never able to hide my true opinions from the Boys no matter how much I might have wanted to.

“So then I guess we don’t really have a choice,” Brian scoffed, also reading another one of the fan letters. “So why did Jive even bother asking us? It’s not like our opinions have ever really mattered to them.” 

“Because I showed them a few of these letters and told them flat-out that if they didn’t straighten up their act and listen to the fans, they wouldn’t have a group to fall back on. After that, it was easy. Jive is finally willing to work WITH us and not AGAINST us,” I answered.

“Well, then, I say let’s do it. We can’t really do anything else without risking our careers, right? So let’s do it,” Nick stated, speaking up for the first time during the meeting, his attention finally on the folder in front of him.  

“What about the rest of you?” I asked, glancing at each of the guys for their approval. At their nods, I continued. “Well then, I guess it’s official. I’ll call Jive as soon as I get out of here and let them know, and then I’ll let you know the schedule as soon as I hear anything. You’re free to go.”

“I’m going to look over this some more, if that’s okay with you?” Howie informed me, referring to the folder in his hand.